No Beginning, No End

written November 16, 1992 at 3:33am
by Andrea Tadpole

My life is a book
It has no beginning
It has no end
It has always been there

The pages are filled with words and pictures
My experiences of others

From my father a broken spirit
From my mother a broken heart
My sister gives me contentment
My brother is a stranger
Cobey gave me lightning and thunder
Sedrick gives me joy and laughter
From Alicia the dawn – new beginnings
My dear Michael has given me the rainbow with all the colors in the world
My grandmother has given me wisdom
From my grandfather – generosity
Betty has given me compassion
From Linda comes learning to play
Laurie teaches me how to be feminine
Dawn teaches me perseverance
From Elaine comes fellowship of the heart
Rachel has taught me humility
From Beverly comes stability
Uncle Willie gave me shame
My dog Nikki shows me unconditional love
Clark gave me rain
Jim gave me freedom
Jeremiah showed me “little Andy”
Joshua gives me orneriness
From Mark empathy
Teresa has taught me “cool headedness”
From Bonnie came acceptance
Sue and Maureen taught of boundaries
Jerry has shown me meekness

All of these people are brief moments in eternity
They are God’s gift of grace to me
Each has given me a rare jewel

Some of them are beautiful and shiny
Others are hideous and grotesque
Still others are painful to look at and hurt my eyes
I must look and touch and feel each one though
Because they are all parts of me

The beautiful and shiny
I tuck away and pull out once in a while to marvel at
The grotesque and hideous I have to look at, accept
And give to God

The painful I have to experience and feel
I can’t hide them anymore

With each hideous, grotesque and painful one I experience
I find others10 times more beautiful in their place

My favorite is the rainbow
It, like me
Has no beginning and no end
Its colors are a wonder to behold
They are the purest I’ve ever seen
One color blends in with the next
Yet remains unique
The colors wash over all the hurt and pain
Soothing the aching
Making me feel safe and warm

This book goes on forever
Into eternity
It has no beginning and
No end