Fifty-Three

53...WOW!!! I never thought I'd live past 23 and here I am 30 years later. What a wild ride it has been. My sweet friend and confidante Gail Langston always tells me to let the path unfold before me and trust God. Today I'm doing better at that and I am grateful more than anyone knows for the life I have. There have been good days, downright horrible gut-wrenching days and everything in between. Through it all God has continued to love me in spite of my craziness. He has blessed me with an incredible husband whom I love with all my heart. I have 2 awesome kids and 4 granddaughters who are the lights of my life. God restored my relationship with my parents years ago and my father is my rock. I have good friends, old and new who are my treasures. Life is good. :-)

Married or Not You Should Read This

I stumbled on this story online. I did not write it. I didn't want to lose it so I'm posting it on my blog. Such an important story....

Here's the story:

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up…..

Harold & George

Written 11/30/2013

by Andrea Tadpole

Gratitude Day 30: Wow!! This is the first year I've made it through the whole month of November doing the daily gratitude. So, I was thinking about something today that I'm grateful for. I included this in a post in a group I'm a part of. It's a story about 2 people God blessed me with in my life years ago. Gratitude isn't a big enough word for them. Here goes:

When I got sober I was 23 years old. I was stuck most of the time going to meetings with what I called old farts. You know 50 to 70 year old men who sat around and shot the shit about the old days and tried to one up each other on their war stories. They would tell me that I was too young, that I had not had enough to drink and to get back out there and do some more and come back in a few years. Then maybe I'd be ready to stay sober. They didn't think my bottom was low enough. But they did not understand one thing about me. I was convinced like I am today that if I took another drink I would surely die. I also knew that if I could not find recovery in AA I would commit suicide or relapse and be a walking dead person for many years till alcoholism killed me. AA was the only option I had left.

Just about the time that I was fed up with these old men who mouthed off at me all the time and I was ready to quit AA, God put two angels into my life. One was a big tall white guy named Harold. He was probably in his 60's and he had been through hell and back. He'd been to prison and all kinds of things I could never imagine. The other was a little black man named George. He was about the same age as Harold. He'd never been to prison, owned his own company and worked hard all his life. Harold and George had been friends for many years in the program. For some reason they sat one on each side of me at meetings. They would lean over and whisper in my ear and tell me not to listen to those idiots. That everyone has to hit their own bottom. That just because one person's bottom "looks" lower doesn't mean it is. They told me the only requirement is the desire to stay sober. They said alcoholism is no respector of age, race, gender, social or economic status. The most important thing they told me is no one can take my seat in AA but me. I owe my life and much of my sobriety to these two old men. They are dead now but what I wouldn't give to sit in a meeting with them today.

Gratitude Day 21

Gratitude Day 21

November 21, 2015

Today I am grateful my husband Andre. He takes good care of me. He does things for me that no one else notices. He is one hell of a good cook...me not so much. He always keeps me from falling into the bah humbug mood during the holidays by insisting on decorating. He has learned to live with my hearing loss and is so sweet and patient with me about it. Every night he holds me. That may seem silly to some people but for me it's the glue that holds me together in this crazy world. He tolerates my weirdness and believe me it takes a special person to do that. I am one blessed woman!!!

Random Thoughts On 8-17-12

by Andrea Tadpole

I have a lot of things on my mind these days. Too many thoughts run through my head and I cannot focus on one. I am so lonely most of the time, even when I'm in a crowd. I see people around me but I peer at them as if through a crack in my door. Inside, everyone is held at bay. They only get in so far and I choke. I don't know why. I am not REALLY talking to anyone. I find myself smiling and nodding a lot but never really saying where I am at. I feel myself slipping away but I don't know where I am going.

I went to a funeral for a friend's baby boy the other day. During the eulogy I stood there and thought about all the deaths I have been through. Since 2004 I have buried at least 10 family members and friends. The very thought of it sickens me. The sorrow is at depths I have never known and there are no words to describe it.

My mind went back to my granddaughter Zoey's birth, her 11 minute fight to live and her death. Her funeral is a blur now. All I remember is begging God over and over to let me switch places with her. A couple of years later we buried her brother Mikey, a few spots over from her.

Mikey was my only grandson. There is no way to describe the torment I went through when Mikey died. I was not allowed at the viewing. I was banned from the funeral and not allowed to stand under the same pavilion I was sitting at today. I wasn't allowed to say goodbye to him; all because of some asinine misunderstanding. It crushed me to the very depths of my soul. I sat on my granddaughter's bench and sobbed during the service. The evil ones running the show, my son's mother-in-law and father-in-law tried to have me removed from the grounds. It didn't work. I was allowed to drop a single handful of dirt on my grandson's tiny coffin and that was all. There was no one to really console me. The one's that were there expected me to just shake it off and move on.

Since that horrible day my son and I have rebuilt our relationship. His sorry excuse for a wife is now an ex and her evil spirited family is gone. All that's left are the two graves of my two grandchildren whom I would gladly give my life up for still today. The relationship I was in is over. I was laid off from my job. Everything in my life has fallen apart. It's all dead and gone.

While I was thinking about these things I was gazing at the crowd and I saw my friend Donnie in the background. For a brief moment my heart leapt inside me. I have missed him so much. He was smiling his ornery smile that always made me laugh. I chuckled in the midst of my tears. Then I remembered; Donnie was killed in a head on collision a couple of months ago. I didn't go to his funeral because I could not bear it.

At that moment I knew Donny's spirit was there to tell me goodbye and that he was okay. I am grateful for that gift, yet it does not make reality any better. It does not make the gnawing ache in my heart go away. I am afraid the knot in my throat is permanent and I will choke back tears for the rest of my life.

Over the past few years I have had to pull myself from the ashes and try to move on; I just don't do it very gracefully. How can one recover from such annihilation with any dignity left? How does one do it? Tell me, because I haven't found a way. The best I can do is just make it through each day, one day at a time.

There are days the ache in my heart is suffocating and it is a fight to get out of bed and go to work. At times I have no ability to really connect with anyone. I am just there. That's all. I am an artist. I love to create whether its a painting, drawing, stained glass, photography; yet I have hit a block in many of my creative outlets. I have not painted or drawn anything since Zoey died. I started a painting of her. The sorrow was so heavy I could not finish it. It's still in my closet unfinished. I keep thinking some day I will get back to it.

The one thing I have done continually is writing. I love writing my thoughts and feelings. Like writing stories about my life and I love to write poetry. It is very healing. I don't think I am a good writer but it helps to put it out there. I have a blog where I keep it all. I secretly hope I get thousands of followers some day but know in reality that will probably not happen.

Today I have a job. It's not a permanent job, but nothing in this life is permanent anyway, is it? I honestly have no idea where I am going. I just want to find peace inside myself again. I want to quiet the gnawing ache in my heart or at least learn to live in spite of it. I want to paint and draw again. I want to find the courage to write the book I see in my heart. The pages are blank and that terrifies me. I suspect though that if I just start writing the words will come and the pages will be filled.

I find the greatest joy still lies in spending time with my granddaughters when I allow myself to do it. They are like soothing balm to my weary soul. True gifts of beauty, light, fire and joy from above. I am blessed to be there grandmother. They give me so much more than I could ever give them.

I am not sure where my life's journey will take me, but I hope it is somewhere good. I've had all the sorrow I can take for a lifetime.

My 29th Sobriety Birthday Surprise

I just had the most awesome thing happen today and I have to share it! As most of you know from my previous post, I'm celebrating 29 years of sobriety today. I don't tell you this because I'm such a great person, because I'm not. I tell you this because I understand how awesome God is and how wonderful His grace is. He's the one that has kept me sober one day at a time.

The greatest treasure that I have in my life is my family and friends. If I call you my friend it means a lot to me because I only have a few, yet my friends are as close as family to me. On Valentine's Day this year I married my best friend Andre and well, there just aren't enough words in the world to tell you how much I love him.

Today Andre went to work and I went to my dad's. He had called and invited me out for early lunch for my sobriety birthday. Now, you have to understand something, my father never goes shopping. He goes in the store on a mission gets what he needs and leaves as fast as he can. Yet today, he and my stepmom (my other mother) Linda, had me go all over Owasso shopping for this and that after lunch. I thought it was a little strange but I went along with it because I enjoy spending time with them. When I took them home my dad announced that he was going to follow me to my house to work on a car he had there. I tried to talk him out of it because it was too hot and I didn't want him to get sick but he insisted. On the way home I spoke to Andre who asked me to stop at the store to pick up something for him before I got home that he needed when he got home from work. He insisted that I stop before I got home. I thought that was weird but agreed. When I turned off to go to the store my dad sped on by me. Again, I thought that was a little odd but I hurried and got what I needed and headed home.

Long story short, as I rounded the corner of my house I saw all of my family and friend's cars there. I knew  something was up. When I entered the house they all yelled surprise! Andre had orchestrated a surprise party for my sobriety birthday. We had a day of joy and celebration. It was better than I could ever have imagined. There stood all the ones I love. My awesome husband, my son and daughter, my granddaughters, my dad and stepmom, our friends Chris and Kristi and their son Josh and my friend Lindsey. The only thing that would have made it better would be if my mom, my friend Elaine and my sponsor Gail had been there, but I know they were there in spirit.

Last year, I was busy working and the chaos of life crept in and I didn't get a chip or celebrate my sobriety birthday. I said a prayer and thanked God and kept going. It bugged me inside that I hadn't taken the time to celebrate it but I just kept moving. This year I made a secret promise to myself and God that I would buy my medallion and celebrate my sobriety some way before the end of July. He obviously already had it figured out. Not only did my family and friends throw me a party, but they gave me my 29 year chip!!

God never ceases to amaze me with the plans He has for my life. Not only has He continued to bless me with the gift of sobriety one day at a time, but He's given me a beautiful life. I have a husband who loves and supports me and I have family and friends...all whom I love deeply. We are not perfect but we manage to weather the ups and downs of life together.

Thank you to everyone for giving me such a beautiful day today! Most especially, thank you to my sweet Andre for taking time out to stop for a day and give me an amazing party...today I will let you win the fight over who loves who more! ;-)

Above all...thank you God for my sobriety. Without it, I would not have the awesome life I have today.

Its Hard To Be Deaf In A Hearing World

Today was a really bad day for me. As most of you know, I'm hearing impaired. I do not use sign language, I read lips and I have a good voice because I lost my hearing in my early 20s. I have never let my hearing loss stop me from living life the way I want. I have learned to deal with it the best I can and feel that I've done a damned good job so far. I don't expect people to powder my ass just because I have a disability. In fact I'm opposite. I just want the freedom to live and be myself. The people that know and love me have learned to deal with my hearing loss and they all treat me with respect. I don't allow people who don't treat me with respect to be in my world long. Living in a hearing world is hard enough. I don't have room for people who put me down.

Most days I do pretty good but today was horrible. I was out in the public lobby where I work today trying to talk on the phone. I can talk on the phone fine but I have to turn the hearing aid on my ear I'm not using off so I can hear the person talking on the phone. This makes hearing my own voice impossible. I end up talking loud and don't realize it.

Right when I ended my call a security lady marched over and towered over me sitting in a chair. She griped me out for talking too loud. I tried to explain that I'm hearing impaired and I cant hear my own voice especially in areas that echo like the lobby but she kept ridiculing me. She embarrassed me in front of everyone. She made me feel like I must be some kind of freak.

She kept asking me questions and when I answered too loud she would tell me to stop talking too loud. I told her I was sorry but I can't make myself hear and as long as she detained me and forced me to converse with her in an area that I have difficulty hearing in I would talk loud because I CANNOT HEAR MY OWN VOICE. She said I was making up my hearing loss so I showed her my hearing aids. She just kept on me.

I finally asked her if she was enjoying discriminating against me and publically humiliating me. I told her I didn't appreciate it and I needed to go back to work. She then yanked at my badge to read my name out loud and said she was reporting me. I told her I would've gladly given her my name and grabbing my badge wasn't necessary. She got mad and stomped off.

I don't know what I did wrong. I wasn't rude to anybody I just was talking on the phone in the lobby like everyone else does. I'm sorry I have an invisible disability. It doesn't mean its not true even though you can't see it!

Once someone is told that a person is hearing impaired that should be the end of it. This woman didn't have to continue to embarrass me in front of everybody in the lobby.

I cried all the way home from work and off and on all evening. I'm real tired of being treated like crap by uneducated, callous people who don't even know me. I'm really a nice person. One just has to take the time to get to know me to realize that.

I'm tired of all the judgements and assumptions made about me when people find out I'm hearing impaired. I'm NOT STUPID. I'm very intelligent. I graduated summa cum laude from TU and I got a 4.0 GPA when I earned my MBA. I did better than most HEARING PEOPLE with no special treatment. I read people's body language better than any hearing person because I have to.

I guess I just feel like I'm out here all alone trying to deal with an invisible disability that very few people understand and most refuse to learn about.

Tonight my heart is broke. :'(

Our Wedding Ceremony - February 14, 2015

This was written by André and I and the minister Chaz Wesley who married us:

A Ceremony of Marriage

Prepared Especially For

Andrea & Andre’

(Andrea Tadpole & Andre Broussard)

OKAPI Center – 2550 W. Edison

February 14, 2015 - - 1pm

Music begins

2 Moms (or sister) light individual candles

2 Candle Lighters

Andre & Best Man

2 flower girls

2 bridesmaids

Banner - Joshua

<’You & I’ - - bridal march>

Bride and Father

CHAZ:  Who gives this bride away?  Father (Elmer): her mother/family and I.

CHAZ:  Dear friends and family, - We are here tonight to celebrate the love that Andrea and Andre’ have for each other, and to witness and bless their union in marriage.  We join them to recognize their relationship, show our support, and honor their path.  We as their community, friends and family join with them in celebrating their commitment to each other. 

If any person now present can show just cause why these two persons should not enter into the agreement of marriage let them now speak or forever hold their peace.  

(Everyone holds their breath and) Silence follows.

Before we begin this wedding ceremony Andre and Andrea have asked that we stop for a moment and honor and welcome the presence of the spirits of all those who have gone before them today. Among them are Andre's Sisters Rhonda & Carolyn and Grandmother Mattie Bradley; Andrea's grandchildren Zoey & Mikey Zelsnack & baby Bogle, their grandparents and many other family and friends who have gone before them. We honor them today with a moment of silence.

SONG:  The Prayer

CHAZ:  From 1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

PRAYER

In honor of heritage and tradition, please join me in a moment of silence as I recite:

A Cherokee Prayer:

God in heaven above please protect the ones we love.
We honor all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives together.
We honor mother-earth - and ask for our marriage to be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons;
We honor fire - and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts;
We honor wind - and ask we sail through life safe and calm as in our father's arms;
We honor water - to clean and soothe our relationship - that it may never thirst for love;
With all the forces of the universe you created, We pray for harmony and true happiness as We forever grow young together. Amen.

CHAZ (to audience):  Andre’ and Andrea have come to perform today, in the presence of family and friends, an expression that is, indeed, heavenly and harmonious – an act of courage in each other and themselves, giving voice to a story of honor and love. The heart of this marriage will be the relationship created moment by moment.  --- In a world where trust often falls short of expectation, it is a tribute to these two who now join hearts in perfect faith . . . 

<<<Bouquet to attendant>>>

CHAZ - VOWS:  Andrea and Andre’ have each prepared their own, personal vows to express to one another . . . . and so I invite you to witness their heartfelt promises of Love and commitment . . . . . these are their words:

From Andrea to Andre:  “I give myself to you unreservedly. I leave my old life behind and cleave unto a new life with you. As I embark on this journey with you I promise always to keep you in the forefront of my mind. I promise always to be loyal to you, even if that means personal sacrifice.

I will treat you with respect, dignity and gentleness. I will be there for you no matter what. When it looks like the world has walked out on you, I will be there right by your side. I will love you, encourage you, and support you in all that you do. I promise never to abandon you.

You do not always have to be strong and you do not have to do life alone anymore. You can rely on me. I will be a source of strength to you when you are weak.

I promise always to conduct myself in an honest and trustworthy manner, not only with you, but others. I promise to set special time aside to spend with you regularly. I promise to be attentive to your needs and feelings, I promise to listen to you even when we don’t agree. When we do disagree I promise to ‘not let the sun go down on my wrath’ - - I promise to endeavor to live in a spirit of unity and compromise with you - - I give you my heart and all my love.

From Andre to Andrea:  “If I had my way, we would have these past three years stand still. I have learned to love you more each and every day that goes by. As I look at the world around us and see war, poverty and injustice – I need only look into your eyes and see Peace, Abundance, and Light . . . . a place that we go from time to time called “our world.” In this world lives strength, music, magic, joy and love. But the greatest of these is love. Our family and friends here today completes this world – and knowing this kind of peace is the greatest joy of my life. We aren’t promised tomorrow but I have the joy of loving you today.”

VOWS:  CHAZ:   Will you please, now join hands, and face me.

Will you, Andre’, give yourself completely and joyfully, as you choose Andrea to be your wife; to live and share your life together in the covenant of marriage . . . . Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in laughter and in sorrow, in conflict and peace, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

ANDRE’:  “I will/do.”

Will you, Andrea, give yourself completely and joyfully, as you choose Andre to be your husband; to live and share your life together in the covenant of marriage . . . . Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in laughter and in sorrow, in conflict and peace, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

ANDREA:   “I will/do.”

CHAZ:  Friends, Andrea and Andre’ are absolutely delighted that all of you, their dearest family and friends, could be here tonight to share this special moment with them. They have asked me to thank each of you for your love, appreciation and support … and for sharing this most special and intimate of moments with them, their wedding day.

And so, in your best voices, and with the words, “We Will,” I now ask all of you, family and friends, if you are willing now and always to sustain and strengthen this marriage by upholding both Andrea and Andre’ with your love and support and your faith in whom they will be together?

Response:  “We Will.”

<RINGS: take rings from BEST MAN> CHAZ:  So we come, Andrea and Andre’, to the presentation of the rings by which you affirm and bind your love for each other  -  

These rings, fashioned to have neither a beginning nor an end will sit quietly on your fingers, reminding you of the power of your vows and the pledge of your partnership. Your wedding rings are an outward and visible sign of the inward and spiritual bond which you share.

These rings are the symbols of vows taken, a circle of wholeness. These rings mark the beginning of a journey filled with wonder, surprises, tears, laughter, celebrations, grief and joy. May these rings glow with the warmth and love that flows through you today – and remind you of the growing relationship you have come to celebrate and confirm.

Andrea will you take this ring and place it upon Andre’s finger, and as you do, repeat after me:

I give you my heart and my faithfulness

From this day forward  ~ you shall not walk alone ~ My heart is your shelter

And my arms are your home – with this ring, I thee wed.

Andre will you take this ring and place it upon Andrea’s finger, and as you do, repeat after me:

I give you my heart and my faithfulness ~

From this day forward  ~ you shall not walk alone ~ My heart is your shelter

And my arms are your home – with this ring, I thee wed

CHAZ – Minister’s Message:  And now, a few words of blessing:

Andre’ & Andrea - May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding in the moments it doesn’t seem to be happening.

May you always need one another - not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete; the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with both of you.

Before us today you’ve created a rainbow of décor, color, creed, faith, equality, and harmony. For the rainbow experience to happen, three things are needed:  sunshine, raindrops, and a spectator. It is not that the sun and the raindrops cease to exist if there is no one there to see them . . . but unless someone is present at a particular point in which to witness the occurrence, no arch of blended colors can be seen – and thereby shared with another. When the causes and conditions come together to create the rainbow, it appears to be there because it is witnessed through another’s eyes.

Today, in this place, there exists an environment in which all three parts come together:

· The radiance expressed through the eyes, smiles, and hearts of those around you – as well as through the two of you (representing the sun)

· Tears of joy (the moisture)

· Those who support you and stand with you on this wondrous occasion (these friends/ family/witnesses/spectators)

May this be a union witnessed through the eyes of many – and may it be a rainbow so brilliant, so unique, and so vivid, that the world stops for a moment to observe it, honor its beauty, and stand in awe….

Unity Candle Ceremony

Today Andre and Andrea come here from two different families and heritages. We are especially grateful for the values which have flowed into them from those who have loved and nurtured them and pointed them along life’s way.

The values and heritage each brings to this marriage will continue to be an important element in their lives, but now will be shared between them. Out of these two families, a new family will be created.

At the beginning of the ceremony today, members from each of Andre and Andrea’s families lit the individual candles which represent the two separate families.

When the two individual flames merge as one, it will symbolize the union of their two families in this marriage and the rich heritage each brings to it.

To Andrea and Andrea:

Today you have decided to share the rest of your lives with each other.

This beautiful union is now symbolized by the lighting of the Unity Candle.

The individual candles represent all that you are and all that you have been until this moment

It is a candle of Unity because both candles must come together to create the new light.

Its fire is miraculous because it represents the light of two people in love.

This candle is also a candle of Commitment because it takes two people working together to keep it ablaze. - - Love is like a flame; it has the heat of passion, it is constantly changing, its radiance is there for all to see and together you must protect it from being extinguished. - -Andre and Andrea please light the center candle to symbolize the union of your lives.

After center candle is lit:

Today, as you have lit this candle, may the brightness of these flames shine throughout your lives…

May it be known from this moment forth, that you enter this commitment and partnership with one another, never forgetting you are first an individual –unique and divine, completely whole as you are . . . . And may you remember this day as a day of choosing the courage and reassurance of a greater Light – a Light of Oneness that comes from each of you – where you will find you way in darkness; warmth and safety in the cold; and grace and joy in your family and friends; and peace and strength in your bodies, minds, and spirit.

CHAZ:

As I read earlier from the apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians; what I believe to be the one message demonstrated by every master-teacher that has shared their truth with the masses; and what each generation gathered in this place today most appreciate from any great love song ever proclaimed – they have all said the same thing:  “All you need is love.”   

Love is the unifying, harmonizing power of the Divine – the single greatest treasure that we have the ability to share with another.  May you have that love, may you know that love, and may you honor it over and over again by loving one another.

Andre’ and Andrea, in this company of friends and family, you begin a new life today, joined together in holy matrimony.  May the commitment and devotion that you feel for one another grow stronger every day of this union.

By the love that has brought you here, by the vows you have exchanged and by the integrity of your commitment… in the presence of your dearest family and friends, and by virtue of the authority vested in me by the State of Oklahoma, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife.

Andre’, you may kiss your most beautiful bride.

<The Kiss>

Ladies and gentleman, with honor and privilege, I proudly announce for the first time:

Mr. and Mrs. Andre’ & Andrea Broussard