Feb 25, 2015

Its Hard To Be Deaf In A Hearing World

Today was a really bad day for me. As most of you know, I'm hearing impaired. I do not use sign language, I read lips and I have a good voice because I lost my hearing in my early 20s. I have never let my hearing loss stop me from living life the way I want. I have learned to deal with it the best I can and feel that I've done a damned good job so far. I don't expect people to powder my ass just because I have a disability. In fact I'm opposite. I just want the freedom to live and be myself. The people that know and love me have learned to deal with my hearing loss and they all treat me with respect. I don't allow people who don't treat me with respect to be in my world long. Living in a hearing world is hard enough. I don't have room for people who put me down.

Most days I do pretty good but today was horrible. I was out in the public lobby where I work today trying to talk on the phone. I can talk on the phone fine but I have to turn the hearing aid on my ear I'm not using off so I can hear the person talking on the phone. This makes hearing my own voice impossible. I end up talking loud and don't realize it.

Right when I ended my call a security lady marched over and towered over me sitting in a chair. She griped me out for talking too loud. I tried to explain that I'm hearing impaired and I cant hear my own voice especially in areas that echo like the lobby but she kept ridiculing me. She embarrassed me in front of everyone. She made me feel like I must be some kind of freak.

She kept asking me questions and when I answered too loud she would tell me to stop talking too loud. I told her I was sorry but I can't make myself hear and as long as she detained me and forced me to converse with her in an area that I have difficulty hearing in I would talk loud because I CANNOT HEAR MY OWN VOICE. She said I was making up my hearing loss so I showed her my hearing aids. She just kept on me.

I finally asked her if she was enjoying discriminating against me and publically humiliating me. I told her I didn't appreciate it and I needed to go back to work. She then yanked at my badge to read my name out loud and said she was reporting me. I told her I would've gladly given her my name and grabbing my badge wasn't necessary. She got mad and stomped off.

I don't know what I did wrong. I wasn't rude to anybody I just was talking on the phone in the lobby like everyone else does. I'm sorry I have an invisible disability. It doesn't mean its not true even though you can't see it!

Once someone is told that a person is hearing impaired that should be the end of it. This woman didn't have to continue to embarrass me in front of everybody in the lobby.

I cried all the way home from work and off and on all evening. I'm real tired of being treated like crap by uneducated, callous people who don't even know me. I'm really a nice person. One just has to take the time to get to know me to realize that.

I'm tired of all the judgements and assumptions made about me when people find out I'm hearing impaired. I'm NOT STUPID. I'm very intelligent. I graduated summa cum laude from TU and I got a 4.0 GPA when I earned my MBA. I did better than most HEARING PEOPLE with no special treatment. I read people's body language better than any hearing person because I have to.

I guess I just feel like I'm out here all alone trying to deal with an invisible disability that very few people understand and most refuse to learn about.

Tonight my heart is broke. :'(

Feb 19, 2015

Our Wedding Ceremony - February 14, 2015

This was written by André and I and the minister Chaz Wesley who married us:

A Ceremony of Marriage

Prepared Especially For

Andrea & Andre’

(Andrea Tadpole & Andre Broussard)

OKAPI Center – 2550 W. Edison

February 14, 2015 - - 1pm

Music begins

2 Moms (or sister) light individual candles

2 Candle Lighters

Andre & Best Man

2 flower girls

2 bridesmaids

Banner - Joshua

<’You & I’ - - bridal march>

Bride and Father

CHAZ:  Who gives this bride away?  Father (Elmer): her mother/family and I.

CHAZ:  Dear friends and family, - We are here tonight to celebrate the love that Andrea and Andre’ have for each other, and to witness and bless their union in marriage.  We join them to recognize their relationship, show our support, and honor their path.  We as their community, friends and family join with them in celebrating their commitment to each other. 

If any person now present can show just cause why these two persons should not enter into the agreement of marriage let them now speak or forever hold their peace.  

(Everyone holds their breath and) Silence follows.

Before we begin this wedding ceremony Andre and Andrea have asked that we stop for a moment and honor and welcome the presence of the spirits of all those who have gone before them today. Among them are Andre's Sisters Rhonda & Carolyn and Grandmother Mattie Bradley; Andrea's grandchildren Zoey & Mikey Zelsnack & baby Bogle, their grandparents and many other family and friends who have gone before them. We honor them today with a moment of silence.

SONG:  The Prayer

CHAZ:  From 1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

PRAYER

In honor of heritage and tradition, please join me in a moment of silence as I recite:

A Cherokee Prayer:

God in heaven above please protect the ones we love.
We honor all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives together.
We honor mother-earth - and ask for our marriage to be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons;
We honor fire - and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts;
We honor wind - and ask we sail through life safe and calm as in our father's arms;
We honor water - to clean and soothe our relationship - that it may never thirst for love;
With all the forces of the universe you created, We pray for harmony and true happiness as We forever grow young together. Amen.

CHAZ (to audience):  Andre’ and Andrea have come to perform today, in the presence of family and friends, an expression that is, indeed, heavenly and harmonious – an act of courage in each other and themselves, giving voice to a story of honor and love. The heart of this marriage will be the relationship created moment by moment.  --- In a world where trust often falls short of expectation, it is a tribute to these two who now join hearts in perfect faith . . . 

<<<Bouquet to attendant>>>

CHAZ - VOWS:  Andrea and Andre’ have each prepared their own, personal vows to express to one another . . . . and so I invite you to witness their heartfelt promises of Love and commitment . . . . . these are their words:

From Andrea to Andre:  “I give myself to you unreservedly. I leave my old life behind and cleave unto a new life with you. As I embark on this journey with you I promise always to keep you in the forefront of my mind. I promise always to be loyal to you, even if that means personal sacrifice.

I will treat you with respect, dignity and gentleness. I will be there for you no matter what. When it looks like the world has walked out on you, I will be there right by your side. I will love you, encourage you, and support you in all that you do. I promise never to abandon you.

You do not always have to be strong and you do not have to do life alone anymore. You can rely on me. I will be a source of strength to you when you are weak.

I promise always to conduct myself in an honest and trustworthy manner, not only with you, but others. I promise to set special time aside to spend with you regularly. I promise to be attentive to your needs and feelings, I promise to listen to you even when we don’t agree. When we do disagree I promise to ‘not let the sun go down on my wrath’ - - I promise to endeavor to live in a spirit of unity and compromise with you - - I give you my heart and all my love.

From Andre to Andrea:  “If I had my way, we would have these past three years stand still. I have learned to love you more each and every day that goes by. As I look at the world around us and see war, poverty and injustice – I need only look into your eyes and see Peace, Abundance, and Light . . . . a place that we go from time to time called “our world.” In this world lives strength, music, magic, joy and love. But the greatest of these is love. Our family and friends here today completes this world – and knowing this kind of peace is the greatest joy of my life. We aren’t promised tomorrow but I have the joy of loving you today.”

VOWS:  CHAZ:   Will you please, now join hands, and face me.

Will you, Andre’, give yourself completely and joyfully, as you choose Andrea to be your wife; to live and share your life together in the covenant of marriage . . . . Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in laughter and in sorrow, in conflict and peace, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

ANDRE’:  “I will/do.”

Will you, Andrea, give yourself completely and joyfully, as you choose Andre to be your husband; to live and share your life together in the covenant of marriage . . . . Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in laughter and in sorrow, in conflict and peace, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

ANDREA:   “I will/do.”

CHAZ:  Friends, Andrea and Andre’ are absolutely delighted that all of you, their dearest family and friends, could be here tonight to share this special moment with them. They have asked me to thank each of you for your love, appreciation and support … and for sharing this most special and intimate of moments with them, their wedding day.

And so, in your best voices, and with the words, “We Will,” I now ask all of you, family and friends, if you are willing now and always to sustain and strengthen this marriage by upholding both Andrea and Andre’ with your love and support and your faith in whom they will be together?

Response:  “We Will.”

<RINGS: take rings from BEST MAN> CHAZ:  So we come, Andrea and Andre’, to the presentation of the rings by which you affirm and bind your love for each other  -  

These rings, fashioned to have neither a beginning nor an end will sit quietly on your fingers, reminding you of the power of your vows and the pledge of your partnership. Your wedding rings are an outward and visible sign of the inward and spiritual bond which you share.

These rings are the symbols of vows taken, a circle of wholeness. These rings mark the beginning of a journey filled with wonder, surprises, tears, laughter, celebrations, grief and joy. May these rings glow with the warmth and love that flows through you today – and remind you of the growing relationship you have come to celebrate and confirm.

Andrea will you take this ring and place it upon Andre’s finger, and as you do, repeat after me:

I give you my heart and my faithfulness

From this day forward  ~ you shall not walk alone ~ My heart is your shelter

And my arms are your home – with this ring, I thee wed.

Andre will you take this ring and place it upon Andrea’s finger, and as you do, repeat after me:

I give you my heart and my faithfulness ~

From this day forward  ~ you shall not walk alone ~ My heart is your shelter

And my arms are your home – with this ring, I thee wed

CHAZ – Minister’s Message:  And now, a few words of blessing:

Andre’ & Andrea - May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding in the moments it doesn’t seem to be happening.

May you always need one another - not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete; the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with both of you.

Before us today you’ve created a rainbow of décor, color, creed, faith, equality, and harmony. For the rainbow experience to happen, three things are needed:  sunshine, raindrops, and a spectator. It is not that the sun and the raindrops cease to exist if there is no one there to see them . . . but unless someone is present at a particular point in which to witness the occurrence, no arch of blended colors can be seen – and thereby shared with another. When the causes and conditions come together to create the rainbow, it appears to be there because it is witnessed through another’s eyes.

Today, in this place, there exists an environment in which all three parts come together:

· The radiance expressed through the eyes, smiles, and hearts of those around you – as well as through the two of you (representing the sun)

· Tears of joy (the moisture)

· Those who support you and stand with you on this wondrous occasion (these friends/ family/witnesses/spectators)

May this be a union witnessed through the eyes of many – and may it be a rainbow so brilliant, so unique, and so vivid, that the world stops for a moment to observe it, honor its beauty, and stand in awe….

Unity Candle Ceremony

Today Andre and Andrea come here from two different families and heritages. We are especially grateful for the values which have flowed into them from those who have loved and nurtured them and pointed them along life’s way.

The values and heritage each brings to this marriage will continue to be an important element in their lives, but now will be shared between them. Out of these two families, a new family will be created.

At the beginning of the ceremony today, members from each of Andre and Andrea’s families lit the individual candles which represent the two separate families.

When the two individual flames merge as one, it will symbolize the union of their two families in this marriage and the rich heritage each brings to it.

To Andrea and Andrea:

Today you have decided to share the rest of your lives with each other.

This beautiful union is now symbolized by the lighting of the Unity Candle.

The individual candles represent all that you are and all that you have been until this moment

It is a candle of Unity because both candles must come together to create the new light.

Its fire is miraculous because it represents the light of two people in love.

This candle is also a candle of Commitment because it takes two people working together to keep it ablaze. - - Love is like a flame; it has the heat of passion, it is constantly changing, its radiance is there for all to see and together you must protect it from being extinguished. - -Andre and Andrea please light the center candle to symbolize the union of your lives.

After center candle is lit:

Today, as you have lit this candle, may the brightness of these flames shine throughout your lives…

May it be known from this moment forth, that you enter this commitment and partnership with one another, never forgetting you are first an individual –unique and divine, completely whole as you are . . . . And may you remember this day as a day of choosing the courage and reassurance of a greater Light – a Light of Oneness that comes from each of you – where you will find you way in darkness; warmth and safety in the cold; and grace and joy in your family and friends; and peace and strength in your bodies, minds, and spirit.

CHAZ:

As I read earlier from the apostle Paul in his letter to the Corinthians; what I believe to be the one message demonstrated by every master-teacher that has shared their truth with the masses; and what each generation gathered in this place today most appreciate from any great love song ever proclaimed – they have all said the same thing:  “All you need is love.”   

Love is the unifying, harmonizing power of the Divine – the single greatest treasure that we have the ability to share with another.  May you have that love, may you know that love, and may you honor it over and over again by loving one another.

Andre’ and Andrea, in this company of friends and family, you begin a new life today, joined together in holy matrimony.  May the commitment and devotion that you feel for one another grow stronger every day of this union.

By the love that has brought you here, by the vows you have exchanged and by the integrity of your commitment… in the presence of your dearest family and friends, and by virtue of the authority vested in me by the State of Oklahoma, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife.

Andre’, you may kiss your most beautiful bride.

<The Kiss>

Ladies and gentleman, with honor and privilege, I proudly announce for the first time:

Mr. and Mrs. Andre’ & Andrea Broussard