My Jewelry Armoire

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

Mother's Day 2022

I have had this jewelry armoire for many, many years. I remember I bought it at K-Mart. It was on sale for around $40. I kept going back and forth to the store every day or two trying to justify in my mind how I could spend $40 on myself. Back then $40 was a lot of money. Eventually, I convinced myself that I deserved it and I bought it and took it home. I have drug this armoire with me everywhere for over 30 years. Mind you, I do not have expensive jewelry. I never have. Yet, I love what I call junk jewelry. I also have some sentimental momentos tucked inside it.

Over the years my jewelry armoire has taken a beating. It has had layers of left over tape stuck from moving across the country and many times from one side of town to other. Yet, I still hung on to it because I cherished what was inside it.

I had brain surgery back in December 2020 and we moved into another rent house a few months before. The movers tipped over my armoire and hurriedly threw my precious junk jewelry back inside it and wrapped it with a mountain of movers cling wrap. I was barely doing good enough at the time to get the house liveable and the kitchen set up. Then my mom nearly died last summer and my stepdad died of COVID. So, I just left my armoire in a dark corner and forgot about it.

This past November God blessed us with a home of our own. The movers hurriedly threw my armoire in my spare room that I have dubbed my art room because I will have it set up and be painting in there soon. Right after we moved in my father got real sick and for the next 3 months I helped care for him. Little did I know at the time that he would die in February. With all the chaos of my life, once again, I just left my jewelry armoire there in the corner and forgot about it.

After my father died and the dust settled I looked around at my disorganized home. I realized it had been many years since I felt like I had a home I could fix up and make my own. So, I wrote a list of things I wanted to do in no particular order, just list. I have slowly started working on that list. One of things was to buy a new jewelry armoire, sort through my junk jewelry and decide what to keep and what to get rid of and throw the old armoire away.

I started pricing jewelry armoires on Amazon and other sites and was shocked at how expensive they are! The cheapest one I could find was $150 and it was not nearly as big as the one I had. I decided to take the mountain of cling wrap off of it. I realized even though it had been banged around, tossed in a corner and forgotten about, that it was worth salvaging and it would definitely cost a lot less than a new one.

Over the last week or so I have slowly worked on my jewelry armoire.  First, I took all my precious junk jewelry out and sorted it in various containers for earrings, necklaces, lapel pins, etc. While I was sorting through it I found beautiful things I had forgotten I had. There were pendants with pictures of my children when they were young and other little hidden treasures of mine inside. They might not mean anything to someone else, but they meant the world to me.

Then I found some Goo Be Gone in the garage and started slowly getting the layers of tape from all my moves off of it. I was actually amazed, the Goo Be Gone took it off quite easily. Low and behold, once all the tape and gunk was off of it my armoire looked almost brand new. I replaced the old drawer knobs with some new ones and cleaned the inside out. It looks quite beautiful and I am actually proud of the job I did.

God teaches me things the most when I am in the middle of doing something. He definitely got my attention while I was taking care of this. Tonight, I was fixing the magnets on the side doors and having a hard time. The screws I was using were tiny and would not bite into the wood like they should. That and I had to remove one and start over 3 different times. I was getting frustrated and I started praying and having this conversation with God. I was saying stuff like, "Why does everything have to be so hard for me? Why can't things just be easy? God please just make the stupid screw go in the wood!" Sorry, but that is how I pray and talk to God. I am just real with Him.

At one point I got so frustrated a threw the screw driver down, said a few curse words and screamed, "I give up God!" I swear I heard God say back to me as clear as if He were standing in front of me, "Aren't you glad I didn't give up on you so easily? See, I knew how beautiful you were underneath all that gunk. I knew what beautiful jewels and treasures were still inside of you. They are still there when you open your heart let them out for people to see." Obviously, that was golden two-by-four up side my spiritual head. It made me stop and sit for a few minutes, just quiet, while the memories of the things God has carried and sometimes drug me kicking and screaming through flooded my mind.

In the span of my life I have been banged around, thrown away and shoved in a dark corner and forgotten. I have not been perfect by any stretch of the imagination. When I was young I was hell on wheels. Yet, the Lord never forgot me. See, all that tape and mountains of cling wrap was not put there to hide me or forget about me; God put it there to protect me until I made my way back to Him. It may sound weird, but God's grace is the Goo Be Gone I needed. It gets rid of gunk that accumulates over time very easily. His grace heals, restores and renews me when I let it in.

So, I am sitting here tonight with a thousand thoughts going through my head at once. My dad's little dog Baby Jake died today. It broke my stepmom's heart and mine too. I went and got her and we went to get Jake cremated. Then we came to my house and my son, daughter-in-love and grandson came over. We ate, laughed and played amid the sadness in our hearts. Nothing big, just spending time together enjoying eachother. That was the oil of joy that I desperately needed for my sad heart today. The only thing that would have made it better would be for my daughter, granddaughters and mom to be here. I know I will see them soon though.

There is verse in the Bible that I love because it is me...

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  II Corinthians 4:7-9

Tonight, I am reminded of the everlasting mercy and grace of God and His indescribable love for us all. I will never look at my jewelry armoire the same again.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there, but most especially to my mom. I love you momma!!

Thoughts on Grief

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

5/4/22

I had brain surgery in December 2020. I was barely recovered from that and my mom nearly died last summer. Then my stepdad died of COVID in the middle of my mom being so sick from an infection after major surgery. I had to move her from Florida to Oklahoma in with me. That was no easy task. I no sooner got her settled in and my father got real sick. He had knee surgery that turned into an infection.

I worked from home every day and then would go take care of my dad all evening and sometimes all night. He was in/out of hospitals. This started November last year. Somewhere in the middle of this nightmare he contracted COVID while in the hospital. Between the massive infection and COVID it tore my father's body apart. I was with him through it all even though it tore my heart to pieces. He made his transition to the arms of the Lord on February 11th. I held his hand till he died.

My family is a twisted up dysfunctional mess. Death brings out the ugly in people and it sure brought it out in mine, who by the way were nowhere to be found when my father was sick and dying. I helped my stepmom with my father's cremation and memorial service. Everyone who was not there to help my dad before he died suddenly had an opinion on his service. My stepmom shut them all down and put me in charge since I was the oldest. Horrible lies were spread on social media by the dysfunctional ones. They said that we had COVID and were hoping to infect people with it at the memorial service. It obviously was not true, but it scared alot of people away. I officiated the memorial service since we couldn't find anyone else. It was small, intimate and heartbreakingly beautiful.

There are days that I feel okay and can keep myself distracted with various things to do. Then there are the days that grief grabs me by the throat and slams me to the ground over and over again. The things that have helped me hold on every day are my relationship with my God and my kids and grandkids. I pray all the time, not because I'm so holy and put together; but because I am a wretched human being that is falling apart inside most days. I try to remember to be still and know that He is God, He is there with me in the midst of the sorrow and I watch for hellos from Heaven. Grief is a journey that we all experience differently but it helps to shoulder the burden together so I reach out to others when I need help. I try to remember that I am not alone and remind myself of something a dear friend always tells me...don't forget to breathe. 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼