May 9, 2021

What Can I Say About My Mom?

What Can I Say About My Mom?

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

What can I say about my mom?
She is my best friend
My confidant
My voice of peace
In the chaos of my life
She is my guiding light
Back to the One who loves us all
As a child she comforted me
And bandaged my wounds
As a woman she has been
My oil of joy for mourning
My garment of praise
For the spirit of heaviness
That often plagues me
She knows me better than anyone else
She is the voice of prayer, healing and love
Over the phone every day
Despite being miles away
At the end of my life
If I can look back and know
That I have been as good a mom as mine
Then I will know I have done well
Yet I know that will never happen
Because her shoes are too big to fill
In spite of her tiny feet
I only hope I can make her proud
I love you momma ❤

Alice Tarrant I love you more than I have words to say. Have a beautiful Mother's Day today. We will be together again soon.

~ Andrea ~

Apr 21, 2021

My Dog Buster

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

I have to tell you the story of my dog Buster aka Dave aka Chucky. I was devastated when my dog Reggie died last September. Then things went bad with my fractured leg and brain surgery in December. It has been quite a tough row to hoe for me. I started feeling better and began looking for another dog a couple of months ago but doors kept slamming in my face. A week or so ago I saw a dog named "Dave" on ARFs website. The ad said his owner turned him in because they were too sick to care for him. I met "Dave" last week and loved him. I got to pick him up Monday. I finally got around to putting tags on his collar today and realized the tag from his previous owner was till there. The owner's phone number and the name Chucky was on engraved on it.

I know from how well taken care of and how friendly Buster is that whoever gave him to animal welfare did not do it easily. I am sure their heart was broken. So, I texted the number on the tag and asked if they use to have a dog named Chucky. A couple of hours later an elderly sounding lady called me. I explained to her how her dog came into my life and how much I love him. She burst out in tears and told me how much she loved her dog but that she was unable to walk or care for him anymore. She said it broke her heart to give him up but she prayed that God would bring someone to love him and care for him. I told her that we could stay in touch and someday soon Buster and I would come visit her. She said that would be wonderful.

The lady also told me that Buster is very smart. She said she was diabetic. She explained that even though he wasn't trained to, he could sense when her blood sugar would get too low and alert her and he even woke her up at night if needed. I told her about Reggie, my hearing dog that died. We talked for a few minutes like long lost friends.

I know that God has a plan for us all and He even cares for animals. It's strangely beautiful how Buster and I clicked at once as if we always knew each other. He just fits right in my life. God made his previous owner's path cross with mine too. I believe it was for a reason. If for nothing more than to soothe a tired woman's heart with the reassurance that her beloved pet was safe and loved in his new home.

One last thing...
Not everyone who surrenders a pet to animal welfare does it because they hate the animal. Sometimes they have no choice, as in this case. So, if you're looking for a pet, pray and look for one to adopt. God will lead you to one who needs you as much as you need them.

Apr 10, 2021

My Thoughts About My Higher Power

Meetings, helping others, doing your daily work, reading the book so that your not an empty vessel is only the tip of the iceberg in staying sober. I personally had to change my whole friggin life! For me, the most important and most difficult part of my recovery in the beginning was the spiritual part. Yet, God blessed me with a sponsor who demanded I find a Higher Power because she, nor anyone else in the rooms, especially men were not my High Power. She drove into me the reality that if I chose to try and stay sober without a Higher Power I'd be screwed because I would surely drink again and for me, to drink is to die. So, I have studied every religion I could find. I've read a plethora of books on spirituality, meditation, etc. I even at one point practiced white magic. All on my journey to find my Higher Power. The damndest thing happened on my road of recovery, I had a powerful spiritual awakening. My Higher Power came to me and saved my life. This was about 5 years sober. My Higher Power turned out to be the One I avoided for so long, the God of my childhood faith. Today my Higher Power has many names. Among my favorites are Adonai, Abba Father, Jehovah Jira, Jehovah Rapha, El Shaddai, Elohim, and of course Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a churchy person. Organized religion left a bad taste in my mouth many times. I frankly stay away from church so I can hold on to my relationship with the Lord. If you need church go for it, just don't judge me for not going. Many a bigot sets in church and will never make it to the pearly gates. I don't ever find myself so arrogant as to force my spiritual beliefs on anyone. What I do is point the way for them to start their own journey. Where one ends up is up to them. The 12 steps are not something we work once and graduate. They are a lifelong endeavor. I worked the steps over and over until the steps worked me. Now they are who I am. I only hope and pray that others find their own way too. Sadly, most do not and they go back out and die. I'm not willing to take that risk today.

Mar 13, 2021

My Thoughts on Racism

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

March 13, 2021

This was something I wrote in response to a Facebook post on racism:

I totally understand outrage at people disrespecting the flag. I also understand the outrage of racism. I personally think anyone who burns the flag should be arrested and sit in jail for it. Burning it is the ultimate disrespect to our country and our soldiers who fought under that flag. Kneeling during the anthem has never been offensive to me. I figure it's a form of prayer to God for our nation and frankly God is the only one who can help us at this point. Having said all that, your comment brought to my my mind the following. Racism is not just a white and black thing. People act as if Blacks are the only ones discriminated against. That is so not true. 

Racism exists in this country against many colors. I personally lived with a man from El Salvador for many years. He came here legally and became a citizen. He had a job at a local college in the cafeteria. He worked with several self proclaimed African Americans. They used racial slurs against him every day. He was called a "wet back" and told to "swim back" all the time. They called him a "monkey" because he "looked like one". He went to HR and asked for help and filed a complaint. Nothing was done. He was harassed worse to the point that he walked off the job and never looked back. How was that okay? If you do not want to be discriminated against it would seem to me you shouldn't do it to others. Yet it happens every day. I think the term is reverse discrimination. Frankly, nothing you could say to justify it would make it ok in my mind. Racism is wrong no matter where it comes from.

I used to spend a lot of time in the Eastern US, in particular Pittsburgh, PA. I was shocked at the segregation and racism there on all sides. My husband at the time happened to be Polish and lived in the "Polish" part of the city. Any time we would venture out to a different part be in white, Italian, Black, Hispanic, Asian, etc you could count on the fact that someone would start telling Pollock jokes. You know, "how many Pollocks does it take to" whatever. I would be ready to kick ass and take names and my husband would pull me back and tell me to ignore it. Half the time he would laugh at the jokes just to make the racist idiots go away. So, how is racism couched in funny jokes ok? In my opinion they're not.

I myself have experienced racism within my own Native American tribe because I look "too white". Yet, I have proof some of my ancestors died on the Trail of Tears. Did you happen to know that Native Americans are the only race in the US that has to carry an ID proving they are Native American? How messed up is that? What if African Americans had to do that? It wouldn't be pretty would it? Also, my Native American grandfather who was not racist at all taught me to love all people. He was alive during the Oklahoma land rush and lived to be 104. He told me one time that he remembered when there was the white and black restrooms and sections in restaurants. He said while he did not agree with any of it, but at least Blacks had a section, water fountain, restroom, etc. Native Americans were treated like dogs and not allowed anywhere. How is this so easily forgotten?

My point is Blacks, African Americans or whatever you choose to describe them as are not the only ones to experience racism. Racism runs deep across ALL races and is insidious in this country. It will not stop until ALL RACES, African American included stop doing it.

Rant over....

Feb 2, 2021

The Little Things

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

February 2, 2021

As most of you know, I had major brain surgery on December 28th last year. They went up through my nose so if you look at me you cannot tell. The recovery journey for me has been very difficult. I was afraid I would be a vegetable or something after surgery. I am grateful that I woke up with all my faculties, I can walk and I have my memory.

The worst part of my recovery has been the headaches, brain fog and horribly debilitating fatigue. I am the kind of person that works 40 to 50 hours a week, buys groceries, cleans, cooks, visits my dad and my son when I can. I love to go running around town with my 2 oldest granddaughters, get my nails done and stuff like that. I am always doing something and rarely sit still. This surgery has forced me to stay down and rest. I have actually taken naps every day. I did not even do that when I was a child, much less as an adult.

My Neurosurgeon said the headaches, fog and fatigue would slowly start to lift in about 6 six weeks after surgery. I am coming up on that time. In the last few days my thinking has started to clear. Thank God, I hate brain fog! I have started feeling a little more like myself. I am nowhere near 100% but I am slowly making progress and progress is good.

I have begun to truly understand how important it is to be grateful and take joy in the little things. A couple of days ago I was hungry one evening and my husband had not cooked yet. He has cooked, cleaned and done laundry for me almost every day since my surgery. I wanted to fix something for him so he could rest. I started thinking about what I could cook that would be easy and would not require me to stand up long. I decided on grilled cheese sandwiches. I was so proud of myself when I got done making them. Today, my husband took me to get my hair cut and I dyed it myself this evening. It made me feel good to do a couple of small things to take care of myself.

Most people, even me, would think those are just little things. However, I remember years ago, when I first got sober my sponsor telling me and my mom also reminded me the other day that every little step I take will eventually turn into a big step. I can see in the pictures I included with this how far I have come. The one with the strings in my nose was after surgery and the other was today. I am getting better little by little day by day.

So, tonight I am celebrating the little things. Besides I love hair dye because it hides the gray!! 😊

Jan 30, 2021

My Rainbow Reminder Today

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

January 30, 2021

I made myself get out and go to the store around the corner today. It is the first time I have gotten out in a while. On the way to the store I was praying. I tend pray in the car alot. So, I was asking God to please make a way for me through all this recovery from this brain surgery. It has been a scary, hard road. I said, "Lord bring me through it, around, over it, under it, part the red sea...whatever, just please get me well already!!" About that time I came to a 4-way stop, I looked to my left for traffic and there in the sky was a rainbow in the middle of some clouds. I pulled over to snap a picture so I would not forget the moment. Then, on the way home storm clouds were getting close. I got about a half a block from home and there was another rainbow!! I pulled over and snapped another picture.

I got home and looked back to where I knew the rainbow was. I could not see it because it was blocked by houses and trees. Yet, I knew it was there. It gave me a warm and peaceful feeling inside. We all know that rainbows are a sign of God's promise to Noah, but I also see them as a promise to me. A reminder that He's always there and never going to leave me. Even when the worldly clamors and trials of life block my view, just like these rainbows today, God is always there, whether I see Him or not. I just have to keep the faith and take the next step.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKEY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKEY 

Today, January 30th is my grandson Michael Aidyn Jude Zelsnack's 13th birthday. I always called him Mikey. He was stillborn. He has a little brother named Michael who just turned 2. He proudly bares the name Michael from his older brother. They are both named after their grandfather and great grandfather who are both in Heaven now. Mikey is there with them, his big sister Zoey and a host of other family and friends who have made their final trip to Heaven too.

I am one who believes when we die our spirits do not lay around in a grave. Our spirits go to Heaven where we are welcomed home by the Lord, God and all those who died before us. Call me crazy but that is what my heart tells me and that is what I will believe till I die. 

A day does not go by without me thinking about my grandchildren, those still here on this earth and those is Heaven. I have a few grandchildren in Heaven, not just Michael and Zoey. There are others who I never got to meet due to miscarriages. Yet, they were all alive and a part of me and I love them with all my heart. 

I know Mikey must be so beautiful! I can only imagine the party his grandfather and great grandfather are throwing for him. And in the presence of Lord?! Nothing could be better than that!! Every year on Mikey's birthday I stop and remember him. I post a poem I wrote for him. It's at the end of this. 

Happy Birthday my beautiful Mikey! Tell Zoey and all the others how desperately I miss you all. I love you!

Ode to Mikey

by Andrea Tadpole

Written on Apr 14, 2010

Born on a stormy sea of silence
His tiny life beyond my grasp
His spirit carried away on angel's wings
With all my hopes and dreams

I never got to see him smile
I never saw his eyes
I never felt his tender touch
Or listened to his cries

Waves of sorrow pulled me down
To horrid depths of grief
I feared I'd never reach the top
Breathe free or find relief

What was his purpose
Why was he here
Why was he meant to be
There had to be a lesson
If I could only see

Then I heard him in the silence
Calling out my name
Rise up, go home and live your life
Walk on amidst the pain

Take care of those I've left behind
Never let them go
Forgive them even if it hurts
And when your pride says no

Hold tight to God
Keep the faith
And then you'll see
That I am always with you 
I am happy
I am free

Jan 20, 2021

Biden's Inauguration Today 1/20/21

I have not posted much lately. I had brain surgery on 12/28/20. It's been a long road and slow recovery. I'll explain more later. I wanted to post my favorite part of Biden's Inauguration so I don't lose it. This young poet is phenomenal. I wish I could write like her. 

Any country that can produce Amanda Gorman is a country with a bright future.  #AmandaGorman.  She is twenty-two years old. Enjoy the read...😊

When day comes, we ask ourselves, where can we find light in this never-ending shade?
The loss we carry.
A sea we must wade.
We braved the belly of the beast.
We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace, and the norms and notions of what “just” is isn’t always justice.
And yet the dawn is ours before we knew it.
Somehow we do it.
Somehow we weathered and witnessed a nation that isn’t broken, but simply unfinished.
We, the successors of a country and a time where a skinny black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother can dream of becoming president, only to find herself reciting for one.
And, yes, we are far from polished, far from pristine, but that doesn’t mean we are striving to form a union that is perfect.
We are striving to forge our union with purpose.
To compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters, and conditions of man.
And so we lift our gaze, not to what stands between us, but what stands before us.
We close the divide because we know to put our future first, we must first put our differences aside.
We lay down our arms so we can reach out our arms to one another.
We seek harm to none and harmony for all.
Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true.
That even as we grieved, we grew.
That even as we hurt, we hoped.
That even as we tired, we tried.
That we’ll forever be tied together, victorious.
Not because we will never again know defeat, but because we will never again sow division.
Scripture tells us to envision that everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree, and no one shall make them afraid.
If we’re to live up to our own time, then victory won’t lie in the blade, but in all the bridges we’ve made.
That is the promise to glade, the hill we climb, if only we dare.
It’s because being American is more than a pride we inherit.
It’s the past we step into and how we repair it.
We’ve seen a force that would shatter our nation, rather than share it.
Would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy.
And this effort very nearly succeeded.
But while democracy can be periodically delayed, it can never be permanently defeated.
In this truth, in this faith we trust, for while we have our eyes on the future, history has its eyes on us.
This is the era of just redemption.
We feared at its inception.
We did not feel prepared to be the heirs of such a terrifying hour.
But within it we found the power to author a new chapter, to offer hope and laughter to ourselves.
So, while once we asked, how could we possibly prevail over catastrophe, now we assert, how could catastrophe possibly prevail over us?
We will not march back to what was, but move to what shall be:
A country that is bruised but whole, benevolent but bold, fierce and free.
We will not be turned around or interrupted by intimidation because we know our inaction and inertia will be the inheritance of the next generation, become the future.
Our blunders become their burdens.
But one thing is certain.
If we merge mercy with might, and might with right, then love becomes our legacy and change our children’s birthright.
So let us leave behind a country better than the one we were left.
Every breath from my bronze-pounded chest, we will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one.
We will rise from the golden hills of the West.
We will rise from the windswept Northeast where our forefathers first realized revolution.
We will rise from the lake-rimmed cities of the Midwestern states.
We will rise from the sun-baked South.
We will rebuild, reconcile, and recover.
And every known nook of our nation and every corner called our country, our people diverse and beautiful, will emerge battered and beautiful.
When day comes, we step out of the shade of flame and unafraid.
The new dawn balloons as we free it.
For there is always light,
if only we’re brave enough to see it.
If only we’re brave enough to be it