My Near Death Experience

My Near Death Experience

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

5/28/23

I wrote this in response to a post from a friend. I wanted to keep it for my klds so i am posting it here.

Many years ago I had a near death experience. When it happened I was not in my body, I was in the presence of God. I felt so completely free, like nothing I had ever experienced before or since. When God told me I had to go back I honestly did not want to. God showed me my children and others that I had to help. He told me I still had work to do here. I knew He was right. When I came back into my body it felt so heavy! EVERYTHING in this world felt heavy. 

There are days that all I can feel is the heaviness of life on this side. It is hard to keep going some days. Yet, the one thing I know for certain is that God is in control of the number of my days here, not me. So, while I am here I need to do my best to focus on Him. I have my bad days but they do not last as long anymore.

Grieving the loss of loved ones makes it even harder. When my dad died, the last thing I told him was it was okay to go "home", that I would take care of my stepmom and he did not have to worry. He knew what I meant. He gazed into my eyes, squeezed my hand and took his last breath. 

It might sound crazy, but I deeply miss "home". Do not take me wrong, I am not suicidal. I just miss "home". Yet, I know it is not my time yet. I still have work to do. I do my best to keep my focus on God one day at a time.

So, keep your focus on God. If you do not already, pray unceasingly and live one day at a time.

A Day with My Grandson

A Day with My Grandson

5/26/23

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

My grandson Michael is 4 years old. He is the neatest little boy. He is so incredibly intelligent that people are amazed by him, especially me. He absolutely loves to learn. His mind is like a sponge and I am pretty sure he has a photographic memory.

He is totally amazed with the solar system. He knows planets, galaxies, stars and all kinds of things I never knew existed! Currently his new obsession to learn about is the states of the United States. He knows all of the capitals and even some counties. He loves to look at globes and can already point out many countries. He likes to draw and paint and minecraft is his favorite video game.

He is an old, beautiful soul wrapped up in an amazing little boy. He is one of the greatest blessings in my life and I am in awe that God picked me to be his "GeGe".

Today was the first time I have gotten to hang out with him alone. He is finally big enough that his mom and dad, my son, are okay with it. We had a great time together. We went to see my mom, his great grandma. Then the 3 of us went out for lunch. After that we took my mom to shop for new, glass tables at the furniture store my son works at.

Michael loved every minute of seeing where is beloved daddy works. It reminded me of going to work with my dad one time when I was about his age. Those kind of moments are etched on a child's heart forever, I know they were on mine. Michael told me this was one of the "awesomest days of his life".

We did not do anything big or special. I did not spend massive amounts of money. We were just together. What I spent was time, time that I will gladly spend over and over again because it is worth more than anything in the world. We simply laughed, played and enjoyed eachother. Michael reminded me to live in the moment today. A 4 year old child still has the uncanny ability to do that and Michael is no exception.

Michael told me on the way to my mom's that he likes to draw and paint. He knows I am creative and we talked about our favorite colors. My mom is an artist and she paints. When we got to her house I showed him her paintings. She had just finished one of a fox and she showed it to him. He was so sweet! He looked at it and really studied it. Then he critiqued it. He said he loved the mountains and the snow. He told her it was beautiful! That made her day. My mom asked him what he would name the fox. He stood there for a minute and thought. He finally said he would name it Lupe. We were like, okay his name is Lupe then!

Always being the curious one and the one who forever looks for symbolism, I looked up the meaning of Lupe. It means from the river of the wolf. Michael and I are Cherokee on my father's side. We happen to be from the Wolf Clan. I took the opportunity to explain this to Michael. I want him to know at least some of my part of his heritage. My father died in 2022. I cannot help but think that this was his way of letting me know he was there with us.

I have been missing my daddy so desperately bad lately. Michael is the oil of joy for my aching heart. Today, God knew I needed to hang out with this little boy who has such a gorgeous mind and spirit. He reminded me to take joy in the little and simple things. He reminded me that no matter how bad my heart aches for my dad, I still have a life to live and it is beautiful. I have much to be grateful for, especially this little boy!

To my little grandson Michael, I do not have enough words to be able to tell you how very much I love you! Thank you for hanging with me and just loving me today. I cannot wait to do it again! ♥️♥️♥️

Iam Tongi and Grief

Iam Tongi and Grief

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

5/19/23

I worked till 11pm last night, roughly 16 hours. I went to sleep at 2am and was jolted awake at 4:30am from crying in my sleep. I miss my Daddy so bad. There are not enough words to explain the sadness I feel, there is only tears. I picked my phone up and went scrolling through Facebook and ended up on YouTube watching Iam Tongi at his homecoming. 

This beautiful young man has touched the very heart of our grieving nation. Well at least he has touched mine. It seems like everyone is rushing through life pretending the pandemic never happened. Yet, it did happen. I lost many friends over the past few years. Worst of all, I lost my Daddy. I do not know if the lump in my throat will ever go away or if  my heart will ever stop aching.

Somehow this young man's singing reaches through the sound waves and soothes my broken heart. Maybe it's because we both understand the journey of grief we are on. It is one none of us wanted to take, yet here we are. Thank you Iam Tongi for giving me the gift of your music. #iamtongi #TeamTongi

Check out I'll Be Seeing You by Iam Tongi on Amazon Music

https://music.amazon.com/albums/B0C59ZYZX7?trackAsin=B0C5BCSD3W&ref=dm_sh_jj2DLQ1LqFF7tCgPCGWRlZ8zD 

Stay Off the Train

Stay Off the Train

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

5/14/23

My Daddy had this picture hanging in his bedroom for as long as I can remember. I always thought it was funny and it is. However, it pretty much sums up my life. I have it hanging on the door for me to see when I go in and out. It reminds to take care of myself FIRST, not last; stay off the train and let it fly on by. Only then, do I find peace.

I woke up missing my Daddy something fierce today! The knot in my throat and ache in my heart is back. I bawled my eyes out again. Sometimes I just need to do that. On my way out the door there was a penny and a quarter at my feet. I know he is trying tell me he is here and I will be okay. But, right now I miss my Daddy.

So, I am going to spend some time today getting back to working on his quilt of valor. I have not touched it since I got back from my daughter's place. That is when I feel his presence the most. I hear you Daddy...take care of myself and stay off the train!

I love you Daddy ❤️❤️❤️

Silence Is a Killer

Silence Is a Killer

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

5/8/23

I commented on someone's post about sexual abuse on Faceache today and it ruffled some feathers. I do not really care if it did. Those that are offended can feel free to unfriend and block me. No love lost here. I went ahead and deleted my reply and am posting it here on my own page. Don't like it? Move on.

This topic has nothing to do with current political and legal drama going on. I could care less. But, when comments are made about sexual abuse...I CARE. I lived through it as a teen. So, this is about MY experience and MY thoughts about it. 

Oh, and do not bother telling me to see a counselor. I have already been there and done that for many years. And NO, I will never forgive the one who abused me. He is on God's altar. I have freed myself from it but God can deal with him. I will have my say about things though. Again, if you do not like my thoughts, feel to exit right on out of my life. Any snarky, hateful, political posts will be removed. As my grandma used to say...buckle up buttercup here we go!

[ suppose it is a victim's right to not report sexual abuse/harassment. However, when a victim does not speak up RIGHT WHEN IT HAPPENS, they allow the abuser to go free and victimize others. I was 14 or 15 years old when it happened to me. I SPOKE UP. I did that because I did not want it to happen to anyone else. After I told on the miscreant, many people in my family turned against me until it came out that numerous girls who were older than me had been molested by the same freak years before me! Had they or their parents spoke up, it would have never happened to me. Let that sink in.

Their silence was deadly on many levels. By staying silent they helped the abuser to kill a part of me that I can never get back. To me, they were an accessory to the crime because they chose not to speak up!! Yes, that statement will anger alot of people who refuse to deal with their own guilt. That is on them. They are on God's altar too.

If all the sudden 20 years later someone suddenly decides to report sexual abuse, it just seems too little too late to me. I respect their right to keep silent, but they cannot expect everyone to believe them when they waited so long. Nor, can they expect victims that came after them, when they refused to report their own abuse to have any respect for them. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR SILENCE!! 

Even as a young woman, when I experienced sexual harassment at work, I cared more about my own self respect than my professional career and chose to report it. I also did not want anyone else going through what I did. I am sure there were women before me that did not tell.

My comments have nothing to do with anything connected with a certain misogynistic, narcissistic imbecile and the circus going on with them currently. Frankly, I will not give them the respect of using their name. My thoughts come from a place of personal experience. Sexual abuse did not have to happen to me. If only someone BEFORE me would have SPOKE UP RIGHT WHEN IT HAPPENED to them!! So, I have no empathy for someone who waits decades to finally come forward. Too little, too late. 

Please, if you go through sexual abuse of any kind SPEAK UP RIGHT WHEN IT HAPPENS! If you need someone to support you emotionally through it I am here. Just reach out.