ENOUGH!!

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

6/30/20

The one word that keeps resonating in my heart right now is ENOUGH!! Look at what all the division and hatred in this world from ALL sides has caused. ENOUGH!!

LIVES MATTER!!

LIFE MATTERS!!

Today, my heart hurts for the policeman who died today, the one still fighting for his life in the hospital and even more so, the ones still out there protecting us today. Some of these officers are my friends. They are not racist or bad people. They just have a passion for serving and protecting us. Something I often take for granted.

My heart is also aching for my home, my Tulsa, the city I was born in and have lived my whole life. We are not perfect but come on Tulsa, STOP THE HATRED! STOP THE DIVISION! ENOUGH!!!

Instead of feeding the monster of hate in our homes, communities and country please pull together in unity and LOVE! ENOUGH!!

Rest In Power Sargent Craig Johnson 🙏😭🙏😭🙏

Happy 80th Birthday Daddy ❤

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

6/27/20

I wrote this for my Facebook today.

This handsome young man is my daddy. He doesn't get on Facebook much anymore but I'm still going to say this....

HAPPY 80TH BIRTHDAY 

I love you daddy!!

Here are a few things I wrote for him a long time ago:

"Father's Day Letter 1987".

http://atadpole.blogspot.com/2014/02/father-day-letter-1987.html

"The Walking Stick".

http://atadpole.blogspot.com/2010/05/walking-stick.html

"For My Daddy".

http://atadpole.blogspot.com/2012/04/for-my-daddy.html

"Daddy-Daughter Date ".

http://atadpole.blogspot.com/2020/01/daddy-daughter-date.html

I love you daddy!! ❤

Erasing History

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

6/25/20

Someone posted this question on Facebook in reference to the recent destruction of historical civil war monuments:

If someone kidnapped your child and sold them, where would you want us to put the statue of that person?

Here is my answer:

I would want them displayed right along side the statues of the ones who inailated my Native American ancestors. Especially the ones who forced my Cherokee tribe to walk the Trail of Tears. I have ancestors who actually died on that walk. Yet, we do not hear anything about the value of their lives and the way they were exterminated. 

I just read an article today about Irish slave trade in the early US. I was stunned. I never knew that Irish people were slaves. I also have Irish heritage. I have never heard Irish people protest about it. Was the history erased? It makes me wonder if some of my Irish ancestors were slaves here. I also read that there were also Oriental slaves. So, where does it end?

Frankly, I would rather have a National place where these relics from all cultures, wars and time periods could be displayed with THE WHOLE TRUTH about who these people were and the atrocities they committed. Kinda like the Holocaust Museum?

We are doomed to repeat the atrocities of our past if we refuse to look at them and try to erase them. I think it is better to embrace them, learn from them and change our future.

Dear Polly

Dear Polly

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

Introduction 

I have a very close friend of several years  named Polly. She is the best friend I've ever had. She is in a longterm care facility right now. I get to talk to her on the every few days but she's not right in her mind, her memory is messed up and thoughts are disconnected. She knows who I am and that I am her best friend, but does not remember details. I just know in my heart that some day she will come back and call me out if the blue and be her old self again. So, I was thinking I am going to start a diary about my journey with her, instead of calling it Dear Diary I am calling it Dear Polly. Some day when she comes back I will give it to her to read.

The following are things I have written so far. I will add to it as I go.

11/6/19

The other night I was listening to TD Jakes. I often listen to him. He has a way with words that reach deep into my heart. He was teaching on a different subject but he spoke about the friendship and deep bond that Jonathan and David shared. He spoke about how David was a shepherd boy and Jonathan was the son of a king. They came from totally different worlds. Yet, these differences did not matter because God chose them to be together.

Well, this sermon immediately called to mind one of the best friends I've ever had in my life. Her name is Polly. We are polar opposites. She loves stylish clothes and has a house that is to die for. She has that gift for designing and making a home look absolutely beautiful. She's a phenomenal cook too. 

Then there's me. I prefer a pair of old comfortable blue jeans. I've never kept up with styles. My home is clean but I've never been much of a designer. I hate to cook.

Yet, several years ago at lunchtime God made our paths cross. Little did the two of us realize what God had in store. Polly was there to help me pack and move at the end of a bad relationship. She held me and prayed with me when I cried. Over the years we have grown together.

We have weathered the storms of life together. We have laughed and celebrated in births and mourned over deaths. We have texted and called eachother at all hours of the day and night. We have prayed together many times. We have agreed, disagreed, hung up on eachother only to call back and make up. We have threatened to pull a "Thelma and Louis" and leave town together or be the "Golden Girls".

Through it all our love and friendship has survived. My life would be so empty without her in it. I have very few people in my circle and she is one. Her friendship is one of the greatest treasures I have. Tonight, I am very grateful for my friend Polly. 💜

5/6/2020

I am writing this here because this is my safe place and I do not want it broadcasted all over Facecrack land in order to protect my friend.

I have a friend in recovery whom I have talked to at least once or twice a day for the last 10 years. She admitted to me that she had a couple of relapses over the years but always appeared to get right back into recovery, meetings, steps, etc. Over the last few months she started getting physically sick. I never thought she might be drinking. I hadn't seen her for a month or so due to the pandemic but her fiance called a week ago and asked me to help him get her to the doctor. So I rushed over. 

She was skin and bones and totally out of her mind as far as dates and times. She knew me but thought it was 6 months earlier. We couldn't get her to go to the doctor and it was obvious that she was a danger to herself in her mental state. So, we called an ambulance and had her taken to the hospital. She has been confused and refused to eat since being there. The doctors ran all kinds of tests.

I managed to talk to her night before last on the phone. She knows me but her thoughts are all scrambled. She wanted to know why I hadn't got to the airport to pick her up yet.

I found out today that she possibly has wet brain. Apparently she has been sneak drinking for quite a long time. No one knew. I never picked up on it. She is extremely malnourished. The doctors don't know if she will ever make it back mentally. 

I am devastated to say the least. I've been sober since 7/5/1986. I realized today that I forgot how hideous and heartbreaking alcoholism is. The Bigbook says it's a "rapacious creditor" and I know that is true. I will never be able to explain why I'm still sober with no relapses and my precious friend is not. I don't understand why she has to go through this. 

It's easy to forget what a deadly disease alcoholism is until we walk through something like this. Please, please if you are even thinking about drinking....DON'T DO IT. STOP. Pray and reach out to someone. Hit a meeting somewhere online, face-to-face or whatever. Just DON'T DRINK.

My heart is so completely broken right now. Please pray that God brings my friend back and keeps her sober. 🙏😢🙏

6/19/20

I called Polly this evening on her cellphone. They let her have at the facility she is at. I can call the direct line at the center but I always try her cell first hoping she will be alert enough to answer it. Most days I have to end up calling the center, but tonight she answered her cell. That made me happy.

In the past few weeks she has randomly texted me, "Are you there?" When she does I always text her back and say, "Yes, and I always will be." Then I call her. She has never texted anything else but that. 

So, tonight we talked for about 20 minutes. Her mind is still so scrambled up. She knows who I am. She will try to think of a word and sometimes get tearful. She is beginning to realize something isn't right with her. Every time we talk its different. Sometimes she thinks we live in the same apartments, her upstairs and me downstairs. Sometimes she thinks we are planning my granddaughter Destiny's wedding. Other times we are meeting up for dinner later. 

Once in awhile, like tonight, she has a lucid moment when she gets tearful and asks what is wrong with her. I always gently tell her she's in a safe place and has doctors and nurses there who are helping her get well.

Polly and I use to pray together over the phone quite often when life would break our hearts. I always end our calls with prayer together that God heals her. Tonight was no different. 

Right before I hung up, I told Polly I got my hair done and that I would text her a picture after I hung up and to let me know what she thought later. I did that. About 30 minutes later she texted me back, "You are gorgeous!" Tears of joy have been streaming down my face off and on since then. See, I know she will come back because God is a miracle worker and waymaker. This simple text was God's reminder to me that He has Polly in His loving grip of grace.

There are people in the world that would tell me just to let her go and move on. Why subject yourself to this sorrow? She may never come back. To them I say take your cold hearted, negative, hatefulness somewhere else. See, Polly is my friend. I don't let many people in my circle and very few are called my friend. Polly is my friend.

I love you Polly. You are gorgeous too and I will always be there. 💜

6/25/20

I call Polly almost every evening. She is still in the rehab. Once in awhile I get lucky and she will chit chat with me. Usually it's totally disconnected to now but I do find comfort in at least hearing her voice. But tonight I desperately miss my friend Polly. She always has a way of talking me off the ledge. She knows how to encourage me when life gets hard or my heart hurts. We would always pray together for eachother. 

I understand the importance of HIPPA laws for patient privacy. However, I just wish I could visit her. But since I'm not family, I'm not allowed. I don't understand how a very good friend can be tossed aside so easily. I that if Polly's mind came back she'd want me there.

I do not know how people live with Alzheimers or Dementia patients and care for them till they die. I think they must be angels and the love they have for their person my run so deep it.pushes to stay. I know the love I have for Polly compels to keep calling her even when she doesn't understand what is going on. 

Sometimes I want to yell into the phone COME BACK.TO ME! PLEASE COME BACK. I don't because i know she isn't gone on purpose. I hold out hope and pray that someday when I call my friend Polly will be back.

7/1/20

When my world was falling apart and I was teetering on the edge, I could always call Polly and she would talk me down and listen to my heart. Last night and the wee hours of this morning I need to talk to Polly so bad. I know its selfish, but the love and understanding of a intimate friend and confidant is the best medicine in the world. I will take the time to call her tomorrow even though she does not remember my life for the past few years. Sometimes just the sound of her voice is soothing. God please bring Polly back. 💜😭💜😭💜

Reverse Racism at Courthouse Today

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

6/18/39

I had to make a trip to the Municipal courthouse in Tulsa today. I had some personal business to handle. When I arrived, there was a tent set up at the entrance and a long line. There were signs posted everywhere that said to maintain 6 feet for social distancing and lines marked on the concrete. I wore a mask and alot of people had one on but some didn't. 

Everyone was doing pretty good at maintaining distance but the guy behind me apparently missed all the signage. He was literally breathing down my neck and had no mask on. I am not sure if he was nervous or had too many tokes on the way in or what but I sure didn't feel comfortable. I turned around and politely asked him to please back up to the line behind him and pointed it out. I also pointed to the sign right in front of him that said maintain 6 feet distance.  His girlfriend grabbed his arm and pulled him back. 

I promise you, he could have been a little old lady, white, Hispanic, Native American, gay, straight, I don't care I still would have asked him to back off. It had nothing to do with his skin color and everything to do with COVID19 safety. However, he happened to be African American. He went off on  me! Told me to go to hell. He told his girlfriend that if he weren't at the courthouse he would "beat the shit out of that racist white bitch". Every time the line moved he counted real loud to 6 and said to me, "Are ya happy now bitch?!" I did not engage with him. 

I stood there quietly (which to many who know me is a miracle) while he showed his ass and I wrote a text of what was happening and that I felt unsafe and intimidated and to please get security in the area. Then I waved a girl over that was across the way checking temperatures of everyone. I asked her to read it. She gave me a thumbs up and a couple minutes later an officer stepped in the area where the guy behind me could clearly see him. They got me in pretty quick, distracted him and kept him away from me. 

That guy had no clue who I am. I am not a racist at all. Had my husband been there he wouldn't have said a word to me. He sure wouldn't have called me a "racist white bitch". I cannot help but feel like this is racism in reverse. I'm sorry but it makes no sense to me that people protest and scream BLM, no justice no peace and racism needs to stop; yet many of them do the very thing to others that they are trying to stop!

Now please understand, I do not think that all African Americans are like this asshat was today. Those that I know and call my husband, family and friends are hard working, family loving people just like me. They are in my inner circle because of WHO THEY ARE, not what color they are. It saddens me to see first hand that a few crazy nutjobs on all sides can cause such division in my city and country that I love. It hurts me even more to realize I'm afraid to be around people in public right now too. It's just not safe. Too many nutjobs running loose, looking for a fight. 😢

Had I not had enough self control to not take the bait this guy was throwing at me this could've ended so much differently. The Tulsa race riot started over nothing more than a false rumor. Please, if you are out and about and cross paths with a loose cannon, don't engage with them. All it takes is a spark or a false rumor to start a riot. It's not worth it.

And people wonder why we who LIVE in Tulsa do not want the rally's and stuff right now. It's a friggin powderkeg here. People's lives are at stake.

I will delete any comments I do not like. It's my post, don't like it, keep scrolling or feel free to unfriend me.

Is AA the Only Way?

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

6/17/20

This is my response to someone's question on Facebook. They wanted to know if AA was the only way to stay sober.

I will not say he succeeded through sheer willpower. However, my grandfather was a raging alcoholic. This was 40 years ago. He started having heart problems and was told he needed a pacemaker. Way back then getting a pacemaker was as risky as open heart surgery because they were still new. He told me after I got sober that the night before his surgery he prayed and made a deal with God. He told God if he made it through surgery he'd never drink again, get involved in church and help others. To his dying day he did that. He always told me that God got him sober. He also told me, "Andi, it's obvious that this A and A thing is working for you so stick with it! Not everyone needs church." I've stuck with AA since 7/5/1986 and have never relapsed by God's grace. I spent many times talking to my grandfather about how much better life was without alcohol. This is why I always tell people AA is not the only way to stay sober, it's the way that works for me. If you don't like AA, find another path. You can always come back. I thank God for my grandfather. 💜

Music

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

6/13/20

I think Heaven is full of nothing but beautiful music coming from the spirits of those around God's throne. And in this music there is no judgement. It does not matter what color your skin is, what political affiliations you have, who you love, what religion you are, how much money you have or anything else. All that matters is being in God's presence, in unity and love, sharing the music of our hearts. 

You may think I am crazy but I do not care. See, a few months after my granddaughter Zoey died I saw her dancing to the music at God's throne. It was the most unimaginably beautiful place I have ever seen. And the music? It vibrated through every cell in my being. I have seen my little grandson Mikey who died a few years after his sister Zoey dancing with her and my grandparents too. What a breathtaking and exquisite sight!

There are days this cruel, sick world gets to me. When it does, I lose myself in music and remember where I will be someday...dancing at God's throne with my grandchildren and others who have gone before me. When I do this it washes over me like the unspeakable oil of joy and suddenly all these worldly clamors do not matter anymore. 💜🙏

My Thoughts on George Floyd Death and Racism

My Thoughts on George Floyd and Racism 

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

Written 6/9/20

I have shared a few posts here and there regarding the current climate of hate and the tragic death of George Floyd,  but I have not posted my personal thoughts. My thoughts are very simple. Rioting and violence of ANY KIND ARE WRONG under any circumstances. Protest your brains out, I don't care, but please get your message clear and know exactly what you're protesting for if you do, regardless of what side your on. I choose not to protest because I don't choose to risk getting shot by some fringe nutjob, on either side.

Now, those of you who know me and are a part of my life, my inner circle, let this thought sink in...

THAT COULD HAVE JUST AS EASILY BEEN MY HUSBAND INSTEAD OF FLOYD.

Kinda hits home doesn't it? Let that sink in REAL DEEP.

Was any of this caused from a totally racist society? Nope. There are sick, twisted people in this country and world from ALL RACES. It's a human problem. So, I think we should stop making this a race issue and make it a HUMAN issue.

I do not believe in white, Native American, African American, Hispanic, etc "privilege". I believe ANYONE born in the USA is privileged much more than the majority of others in this world. I refuse to apologize for being white/Native American. I also don't think my husband, who happens to African American and French, should apologize for his ethnicity either. We are who we are. God made us that way. 

It is up to each person what they want to make of their lives. It takes hard work and great sacrifice to be successful. If it were actually about being a privileged race then explain to me why I'm lower middle class and Oprah is a billionaire. It's all about the choices we make in life.

In the end, as my husband put in our vows, all there is LOVE. Until ALL people unite under God and get back to LOVE as Jesus (my Higher Power) and other religions teach we are doomed. So, put down your protest signs, go home, sow LOVE into your family FIRST, then let ripple out to others. 

I don't give a crap about your political affiliations, whether your KKK, BLM or whatever the hell else is out there. Keep it to yourself. I posted this to share my heart and my heart is not up for dissection or debate. Any negative, hateful comments or any I just don't like will be deleted. That's what I love about Facebook...delete, block and unfriend. Wish life was that easy.