Goodbye Too Soon

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

4/25/22

I was going through some unpacked boxes today and found this. I did not know when I made this print back in 2004 that it would mean so much to me now. Even the title speaks to my heart. My father was in the Navy. This is the picture in my heart of what it felt like to say goodbye to him when he died. I wanted to hold on to him forever. Yet, he is the one still holding me from the other side. I love you daddy!! ❤️

Leading My Daddy Home

Leading My Daddy Home 

Easter 2022

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

16 years ago my granddaughter Zoey died and I thought that I would never feel the depths of sorrow and despair like I did with her. Boy was I wrong. Do not misunderstand me, I am very grateful that God chose me to lead my father home. Yet, it came with a heavy price inside my heart.

I was there with him through the longest journey in our lives together. It lasted over 3 months. All I did was work all day and go take care of him all evening and night every single day. There were happy times, very beautiful times and sad times.

The night before he died God told me, "Take off work tomorrow, you have to be with him to lead him home." I did just that even though it felt as if my heart was being torn apart. There is nowhere else I would have been. I loved him that deeply. 

I held his hand the whole time, he never let it go. I remember looking into his eyes just before he passed. I never realized what beautiful, captivating blue eyes he had until that moment. We locked eyes and he looked into my heart and I into his. I told him to go home, that it was okay, I would be fine and I would find my way back to him again some day. Then he took his last breath and made his transition to the arms of God.

I have no doubt that he is happy. He is at peace and free of the illness that plagued him on this side. I understand he is the blessed one and the tears I cry are for me. I am the one left here in this crazy world and it feels like my dad is a million miles away. Yet, I would not trade a moment of spending my father's last days with him for anything. I feel grateful and humbled at the thought that my Creator chose me to lead my father home. 

I am sorry I am rambling. I think I am just beginning to process it all and understand the sacred, holy, spiritual experience I went through with my father. Maybe I will not fully comprehend the magnitude of the journey we took together until I make it to Heaven with him some day. I do not know. I just feel so completely grateful that we were together through it all and I could help lead my daddy home.

I Heard Your Cry

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

Easter 2022

Painting is very spiritual to me. It is as if I am at the feet of God's throne and the painting paints me instead of me painting it. This painting is one that God painted for me. While I was painting it I kept focusing on the Lord's ear. I didn't understand why so, I asked why. Lord, what are you trying to tell me? Then I heard Jesus say loud and clear, "I heard your cry!" Hence the title for this painting...I Heard Your Cry.

This weekend of all times throughout the year, this image means more to me than ever. 

"O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"

I'm so grateful God loves me because of who HE is and not who I am.  Holy, Holy, Holy is my Lord and Savior Jesus!!!

Just BE with Me

April 16, 2022

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

I just want this pain

To stop

Losing you

Broke my heart

My mind

And spirit

Like I have never

Known before

I keep grasping

For someone

To throw me

A life jacket

And pull me out of the

Waves of grief

That thrash my body around

And keep sucking me

Into the deep

Everyone keeps telling me to

Pull it together

Get on with life

Get back to normal

Yet when I try

I am like a bumbling bull

In a China closet

Because nothing

Feels normal right now

When I reach out for

Those around me

Who supposedly

Love me the most

I get slapped down

And pushed away

Because grief is

Not all pretty

Or put together

It is ugly

And hideous to see

Much less be the one

Trying to get through it

One breath at a time

Till I am free

Whatever happened to

Tenderness

Compassion

Comfort

Kindness

And unconditional love

All I need is

Those closest to me

To listen

To just be there

Just BE with me

Hold me when I cry

Love me in spite of me

Help me get through

These devastating

Waves of sorrow

Tears do not come

When it is convenient

They overtake me

Out of nowhere

I go spinning

I lose my footing

And I feel lost

So instead of

Criticizing me

Telling me

I am crazy

Be strong

That life goes on

Please just love me

And hold on to me

Through this

Tsunami of grief

Until I can stand

On my own again