7 Wisdoms I Am Grateful I Possess Today

7 Wisdoms I Am grateful I Possess Today

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

The 7 Wisdoms I am grateful I possess today are:

1. One is too many, a thousand never enough. If I do not have the first one, I will not have the last one. So, just do not pick up today. 

2. It does not matter if it was the engine or the caboose that hit me. I still got hit by a train. If I do not want to keep getting hit by trains I must learn to spot them and stay out of the way! That means I need to focus on changing the only one I can really change...ME!

3. Rule 62: Do not take myself so damn seriously! Remember to laugh.

4. God has not brought me this far to drop me on my ass now. Trust Him.

5. Trust God and let the path unfold before me. Do not get the bulldozer out a blaze my own path. When I do that, I create bigger messes to clean up and delay God's purpose from happening in my life. 

6. I cannot keep what I have unless I give it away; yet, I cannot give what I do not have. So, I must not forget to put my oxygen mask on first!

7. Death is not the end of a one's life. They simply transition to a different dimension and go Home. We all go Home some day. The love we share crosses all dimensions. If I STFD I am able to feel that love and see the signs they send all around me. STFD!

A Beautiful Sewing Machine and Sacred Memories

A Beautiful Sewing Machine and Sacred Memories

By Andrea Tadpole-Tadpole-Broussard

7/11/23

I have been working on my Dad's blanket of valor for awhile now. I finally got to the homestretch on it and my cheap sewing machine quit on me. So, I started praying and researching sewing machines. I needed one that could handle thick layers of material. It is what they call "heavy duty" now. I found one on Amazon for a few hundred dollars. Supposedly it was heavy duty but everything was plastic on it. So, I was not sure about it. That, and I really did not want to spend that much money.

Through what I believe were some divinely appointed events I met an awesome woman and fellow seamstress on Facebook. I asked her about the machine I found on sale. She planted a seed in my mind to look for a good, older machine because they were made so much better. So, I decided to scroll through Facebook market one last time. I stumbled on an ad for one listed for $75. The guy had a video of it running and it looked brand new. It was still available and my new friend encouraged me to go check it out. I went after work today.

It looked like it had rarely, if ever been used! It was just like the one I learned to sew on as a young girl with my mom and grandmother. Sacred memories flooded my mind as I was checking it out of my mom and grandmother teaching me. So much so that I teared up. Those were beautiful times in my life; treasured moments that I would give anything to have back.

Anyway, it is not the same brand but everything works like I remembered. It has a solid wood cabinet and is gorgeous. It even has a set of cams to embroider with!! It is impeccably clean, no scratches and the manual was still in plastic. I was able to buy it for $65. I got it home and it works great!!

If you had told me a couple of years ago that I would be sewing quilts and loving it, I would have told you that you were crazy. Yet, here I am in a beautiful home I thought I would never have again and I have my own art/quilting room. It is like an oasis and a sacred space for me where I can create. For me creating is my voice and much needed therapy to heal my broken heart.

I am so blown away at God's grace and mercy right now. I started taking some actions in my own inward life to get back to a more positive mindset. It is easy for me to forget that if I put out positive stuff that positive comes back to me. This is another reminder.

I am so grateful tonight for new direction and shifting to positive energy in my life. Thank you God for taking care of me even when I am not perfect and act like Much Afraid or Doubting Thomas. Most of all, thank you for new friends and a beautiful sewing machine that I can create sacred memories with.

New Connections

This is something I wrote about a new online group I joined recently called Gratitude Slam.

New Connections

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

7/9/23

Ok, this is totally disconnected from any questions posed in here recently or maybe it is, I do not know because I just came up for air today. Here goes:

I have been a recluse and hid in my grief from my father dying for many months now. When he died it brought out the ugly big time in my family and I had to cut ties with some people I love deeply in order to protect my own heart. I not only lost my Dad, I lost several family members due to hatefulness and greed on their part. Grieving all this loss took me down hard for awhile. 

I believe in manifestation and the power of positive and negative thinking. I heard someone say years ago, "If you do not like what life is throwing at you, change your thinking." I never forgot it. It might take me a while to recognize and change my thinking but I eventually do.

So, I took a chance and joined this group a few weeks ago. I had no idea what a massive impact this would have on me or the beautiful doors it would open. I have been so lonely. I have barely dipped my toe in the refreshing waters of this group, taken tiny steps and to me made minor changes. Yet, God, now that I invited Him in to the problems I have, has blessed me once again. I do not know why I am always surprised when He does! Believe me, I know I do not deserve it. It is all from His tender loving grace and mercy. 

One thing has led to another and by what some people would call coincidences (not me), God has brought angels in human form into my life. It is as if we were divinely appointed to be in eachother's lives at this specific time and place. God's love continues to blow my mind! So, tonight, I need to express to God and everyone how very grateful I am for new connections in my life.

Ruminating

Ruminating 

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

7/7/23

This question was posed to me today:

What positive evidence exists that you are ruminating less?

I looked up the definition and to ruminate means to think deeply about something. I do not necessarily think that ruminating is a negative thing. It depends on what I am thinking about. Let me give you an example. 

Before I got clean and sober my every waking moment was consumed with thinking and planning how to get my next fix, pill or drink. I would gladly sacrifice all, tell whatever lies I had to, basically do whatever I had to do to get it. Whatever values I had were long gone. My mind was completely obsessed or stuck in never-ending rumination over alcohol and drugs.

The first few months I was sober I went from ruminating over alcohol and drugs to ruminating over the past and all the mistakes and bad choices I made. It got so bad that I nearly relapsed. Then, God put a woman in my life who bulldozed through my BS. She taught me how to change and redirect my thinking to ruminating over "the solution" aka the 12 steps instead of drinking and drugging. 

I reluctantly agreed to work the 12 steps with her. Honestly, some times she drug me through them. I would call crying about something. Her broken record answer would be, "Have you prayed? Did you write your gratitude list today? What step are you on? Are your dishes done? Did you make your bed?" Any time I could not answer her questions she would tell me to call her back when I had those things done. I finally started getting serious about my recovery and would do anything she asked of me so I could stay sober because I knew if I drank again I would surely die or be walking dead which was worse.

I remember sometime around 6 or 9 months sober I was walking through the hall at work and I was smiling. It was not a fake, plastered on smile. It was a smile that came from the very core of my being out. I stopped in mid stride and thought, "I have not smiled like this ever!" Then it dawned on me, I had not thought about drinking in at least a month. For me, this was a miracle and still is today!! That was my first of many spiritual awakenings.

In the process of reflecting on ruminating tonight, I realized that after my Dad died it was like a major shot to everything inside me. I truly believe God's grace has kept me from relapsing until I could get back up and start using the tools again that this woman gave me so many years ago.

Today, my thinking is clearer and more focused. I am not dithering in circles. The smile is growing inside me again. I am so thankful that God, the Universe, the primordial ooze or whatever you choose to call it has lead me to this group. Michael and every member have helped me find myself again, for that I am truly grateful! I look forward to reading and posting every day. Finally, I am ruminating on something positive again. Like I said, ruminating is not a bad thing if I am focused on the positive things! ❤️ 

P.S. if you want to find a group that is awesome look up Gratitude Slam on Facebook. Michael Ian Cedar is the leader and he is amazing! He is the one who posed this question.

37 Years Sober

37 Years Sober

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

7/5/1986

Today I quietly celebrated 37 years sober. To say that I am grateful is a huge understatement. There are several angels that I owe my life to. They were there in the beginning and continued to love me and guide me through the 12 steps Carla McHenry, her brother Lewis, Harold Inman, George Gibbs, Bonnie, Beverly and Ozart, and so many others. They believed in me when I could find nothing to believe in much less myself.

When I look at all I have been through since I got sober, my heart feels so blown away. Here I was this 10 foot tall, bullet proof, pissed off at the world, 23 year old girl. At least that is the attitude I projected to everyone to keep people away. My whole life revolved around finding and using alcohol and drugs to the point I nearly lost custody of my kids. It was only God's grace that kept us together.

I have been so blessed since I got sober. Life has not been perfect. I have made many mistakes and stupid choices along the way. Yet, God has always been there for me. His grace and mercy are neverending.

I have been fortunate enough to raise my children, Sedrick and Alicia and they are beautiful adults now They make me proud. They have given me the most amazing grandchildren!

Destiny, Kaylee, Bella, Courtney and Michael all have my heart. I see the future in their eyes. My oldest granddaughter Destiny is going to make me a great-grandmother soon too! How awesome is that?

I know that without my sobriety I would have died many years ago. I would have missed out on some of the most beautiful moments with my family. Those are things money cannot buy. So, I am very grateful to God for keeping me clean and sober one day at a time since 7/5/1986.

Reflection

My word 1-word intention for the week is REFLECTION.  Wednesday I celebrate my 37th year sober and I have always taken the week of my "rebirth" day to reflect upon where I was on July 4, 1986 and my journey since then. In honor of God's grace and mercy in my life and my indescribable gratitude to my Creator for my sobriety I offer this writing that I did a few years ago. It still rings true today.

Mile Markers

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

1/5/2020

I am a recovering alcoholic. I have been sober since 7/5/1986. I have stayed sober through God's grace and mercy and with the help of a 12 step program. Along my journey, God has blessed me with different women who have been my spiritual teachers. I call these women my sponsors. Believe me, I would not be here without them. They have given freely of themselves and taught me how to use many spiritual tools in my sober life.

I was headed home yesterday from grocery shopping and I started thinking about stuff going on in my life. Most of it I cannot control and I was worrying about it. I started talking out loud to God about it while driving down the road. Then out of nowhere I heard Him say, "Where are your mile markers Andrea?" See, my sponsor told me many years ago to make sure and erect mile markers in my life. These mile markers are things that I can look back on that I could see the hand of God working in my life. They will help me have faith when life is hard. They will remind me that God has never left me and never will.

So, I started thinking about my mile markers. I remembered a time when I was 23 or 24 years old. I was in the first 6 to 9 months of my sobriety. My children were 2 and 4 years old. I was a single mom, attending college and very active in 12 step meetings. I had a work study job at the school but money was tight. 

This one particular night it was a few days before payday. I had a couple of dollars left. I stood there putting my last few dollars in my gas tank and thinking I could go to my 12 step meeting and make coffee as I had committed to do and I would not have enough gas to get to class the next day. Or, I could skip the meeting, go home and make it to class the next day. I stood there debating in my mind what to do. Then I thought if I do not have my sobriety I will lose my children and school will be a faded memory so I better go to my meeting. I said a prayer and asked God to take care of me. No one knew of that prayer but me and God.

I showed up early to my meeting and was making coffee. One of the old timers came in. His name was Harold Inman. He had been sober longer than I had been alive and he was like a grandfather to me. He always encouraged me. I remember him telling of being in prison and having to put cardboard in his shoes because he had holes in them and would rather blow his money on booze than buy new shoes. Yet, here he was a fine and intelligent man. He worked for attorneys and judges and was esteemed by them all. I had the greatest respect and admiration for him.

After Harold and I got the meeting set up people started coming in. We were busy greeting them. Right before the meeting started Harold called me down the hall away from everyone. He hugged me and slipped $60 in my hand. I started crying because I had not told anyone about my earlier prayer at the gas pump. I told him I could not take the money because I could not pay it back. He said, "Andrea, God told me to do this. I never said you had to pay it back. Just pay it forward some day." I thanked him and promised him I would. I was able to fill my gas tank, get food for my kids for a few days and make it through till my next payday.

I will never forget that milemarker. For me, it was a holy, sacred moment when I saw God in a man. Harold and I remained friends until he went to be with the Lord. I paid it forward many times, still do in different ways. Harold taught me that.

Life gets crazy and scary at times. Everyone says, "It will all work out and I am praying for you." Once in awhile, God speaks to someone who is listening and brings an angel to take care of us. I am so grateful for those angels today. I am blessed with many mile markers. So, tonight I am going to remember them and rest in His blessed assurance that everything will be alright. He has never left me and never will.

P.S. I am very grateful for Michael Ian Cedar and everyone in Gratitude Slam. What an awesome mile marker this is!! 💜💜💜