Andre

by Andrea Tadpole

I once dreamt
I'd find the one
To share a love
That's deep and true

I searched and searched
With all my heart
But everything
Just fell apart

I gave up hope
Refused to look
When out of nowhere
There you stood

You're the man
I dreamed of
All my life
The reason my heart
Took flight

I cannot believe
You've chosen me
From all the fishes
In the sea

We both work hard
To build our life
Meet up together
In the late night light

Our stolen moments
So tender and sweet
Revive my soul
And bring me peace

In all my life
I've never known 
The kind of love
I have for you

If I could have
One wish come true
It would be
To spend
Forever with you

My Man

Andre and I have been together for 10 months now. He is the kind of man I always dreamed of but feared I'd never find. He's not perfect and neither am I. I don't think either of us were looking for perfection. We were looking for the kind of love that stands the test of time. The kind of love that's built on mutual trust and respect with that special "chemistry" and passion that keeps life fun even in hard times. I waited to announce our relationship on Facebook until we were both sure about us and where we are going. Andre and I went to Florida for vacation together last month and we both agree that this trip is what sealed the deal for us. Andre and I "officially" moved in together last week. I'm the happiest woman in the world!

Andre, I love you with all my heart! I wrote this for you:

My Man
by Andrea Tadpole

My man
Found me
Deep in the night
Like an angel
Brought me
Back to life

When we met
His eyes twinkled
With pure delight
His smile
Illuminated me
At first sight

I fell fast and hard
From the very start
Yet he was there
To catch me
He captured
My heart

Dark brown skin
Smooth as silk
Honey sweet kisses
That make me melt
He has a way of
Touching me
In places
No one else
Has ever felt

Strong and protective
Yet soft and tender
Its finally safe
I can surrender
To the love
We share
To this man
My man
Now
Forever

He Always Touches Me

by Andrea Tadpole

He always touches me
Always
And when he does
It draws me in
Like a moth
To the full moon light

He always touches me
Tenderly
Sweetly
As if to say
You're my woman
All mine

He always touches me
And his sparks
Ignite my hidden passion
Into a raging fire
Of sensuality
And desire

He always touches me
And reminds me
I belong to this man
Who loves me
Safe and warm
In his arms
Forever more

Thoughts On Love

Thoughts On Love
by Andrea Tadpole

Love is a fragile gift
Beautiful to behold
When tasted
One is insatiable
With an unquenchable
Fiendish thirst
For more and more

Yet love cannot
Be possessed
Or reigned in
It cannot be forced
It can only be experienced
Between two lovers
Intertwined at the heart

Love can last
Forever
When cultivated
And grown
In the garden
Of two
Star-crossed souls

Courtney's 1st Birthday Letter

by Andrea Tadpole

Note: This is taken from a book my daughter and I write together called Love Letters. I wrote it for my youngest granddaughter Courtney on her first birthday. I’m sure my daughter won’t mind me posting it here, it seems appropriate. 


1/22/2008

Today is Courtney’s 1st birthday! Can you believe it?! Time runs so fast – she is already walking and trying to talk. Wow! So here is a letter to her. Hopefully she will read it someday when I’m long gone and remember how much her GeGe loves her – here goes.

Dear Courtney,

The day you were born was one of the most wonderful days of my life. The first time I saw you through the hospital nursery window my heart leapt with joy. You had this beautiful head of red hair just like my grandma Mary’s. I am sure she was dancing in heaven! Your eyes were big, beautiful blue like the ocean. From the first time you looked at me you had the ability to pierce the very depths of my soul with your gaze.

While I loved you just as much as I love all my grandchildren, I had no idea what gift you were meant to be to me. Just a few short days after your joyous birth, your cousin Michael Aydn was still born. I went from the highs of welcoming you to the very depths of sorrow at the loss of my beautiful grandson. That night after he was born I was driving around and the pain was so horrible from losing another grandbaby that I could not think straight, much less stop crying. I found myself on the side of the road crying into my cell phone to my confidant, Sandra. Apparently I had thought about driving over a cliff to end it all so the pain would stop forever. Sandra asked me what I could do at that moment that would help stop the pain in my heart. The only thing I could think of was to hold and rock you. So, I called your mom and asked if I could come over and do that. From the moment I held you in my arms it was as if you put this warm soothing medicine on my devastated soul. Here you were a mere six days old and yet you were snuggled right up to me. I sat and rocked you as tears of joy and sadness all rolled into one streamed down my face. I knew that there was hope when I looked at you and I knew that I had to stay alive for you and my other family. That night you and I forged a bond of love with each other that did not need words.

Since then I have watched you grow and learn. We have spent many hours rocking together. You always end up on my lap wanting to be rocked. I think at some level you know that you are the one rocking me. Your love has been and is what the Bible calls “the oil of joy for mourning” to me. You have a spirit of compassion and understanding like no one I have ever known. Well, your mom has that same spirit. It’s beautiful; don’t let life snuff it out.

You are so full of energy and joy. You have made me laugh and smile when I thought I never would again. I have watched you study your big sisters and I know you are taking notes. I know if you could talk you would tell them that when you get big you’re going to be like them. You don’t miss a thing.

Another thing that you have done is totally fall in love with your Uncle Sedrick. When he walks in the room the whole world stops and your eyes are fixed on him. You demand his attention and stay glued to him. I think you know he needs you. I can only imagine what losing Mikey was like for him.

So, I said all that to say this – if you ever doubt that you are here for a reason or think that God has no purpose in your life look around you. Find the one that’s hurting and down hearted and show them the love you have shown to all of us in this brief first year of your life. Go kiss your mom and babies and let them know how much you care. Treasure every second of your life because you never know when it will be your last. Whatever you do – do not lose the hope and inspiration I see in your beautiful blue eyes. Stay connected to your family, especially your mom and sisters. I wasted too many years being mad at mine for things I don’t remember now. In the end all you have is God and family so hang on to them.

Thank you for loving me my beautiful little girl.

I will love you forever,

GeGe

Laying In Bed

by Andrea Tadpole

Laying in bed
In the middle of
The night
Thinking about you
Makes my heart
Take flight

I imagine our bodies
Intertwined
In a dance of
Ecstasy 
So divine

I've dipped my toe
In the ocean of
What might be
Is it real
Or just a fantasy

Laying in bed
In the middle of
The night
Praying for answers
I gotta know
Should I stay
Should I go
Pull you close
Or run away

Your touch
Sends me reeling
In infinite bliss
I look into
Your eyes
See forever
Taste sweet nectar
In your kiss

Feelings so intense
I cannot sleep
Is what we're doing
Right
Should I take
The leap

Laying in bed
In the middle of
The night
Thoughts battle round
Till I finally give in
Start counting sheep
Till I drift off
To sleep

Do You Feel Me

by Andrea Tadpole

Do you feel
The vibration
Between us
When our
Eyes meet
Across a
Crowded room
That indescribable
Energy
Pulsating
To and fro

Do you feel
My heart
Beating next
To yours
Even though
I'm not near

Do you feel
My breath
On your neck
My sweet lips
On your cheek
Hear me whisper
Sweet nothings
In your ear

I think of you
And your scent
Comes back to me
I close my eyes
See your smile
Taste your lips
Crave your touch

Do you feel me
Cuz baby I'm
Feeling you

One Look

by Andrea Tadpole

One look
One glance
Our eyes locked
Was it fate
Or happenstance

I saw your heart
You saw mine
Undeniable
Indescribable
Connection
Born lifetimes ago

Knocked my world
Off its axis
Spinning blind  
Or was it finally
Aligned

I saw a moon
Orbiting a planet
At least I think
Or maybe it was
Two planets
Dancing together
Around the sun

One look
Is all it took
To mesmerize me
With your Essence
Make me long
For your touch
And thirst
For your love

Forbidden Fruit

Note: I wrote this a long time ago. I found it in a box I was digging through the other night.

Forbidden Fruit
by Andrea Tadpole

Forbidden fruit
Can’t you see
What the thought of you
Does to me
I dream of you all through
The night
I see you glisten
In the full moonlight
So close Yet so far away
Should I run
Or should I stay

Forbidden fruit
Can’t you see
How I long
To climb your tree
Pick your fruit
Taste your juice
Set myself free
Just let loose
Yet I know
If I dare go
It will only
End in woe

Family

This is in response to the comments being made on Facebook by certain people in my family about the latest drama: First and foremost, its better to talk/argue/whatever FACE TO FACE instead of being a coward and posting bullshit in social media such as Facebook (you know who you are). If can't do it face to face its better to just stay out of it altogether. Second, when my grandma died the ONLY ONES at her side were her FAMILY. Ya know, the ones she laughed with, cried with and yes, fought like hell with? All her so called "FRIENDS" were nowhere to be found. In the end all that's left is one's FAMILY, good or bad. Its best to love and cherish them while we still can. Life is but a flicker. Here and gone too fast. For the love of God, MY FAMILY should know this! Or did you already forget Michael, Zoey and little Mikey? There are many things I did in my youth to my FAMILY that hurt them, yet they're still here. I wish I could take it all back but I can't. I can only live today and do my best not to be the same cruel person I was in my youth. I'm not perfect and never claimed to be. I can promise you one thing though: I LOVE MY FAMILY whether they deserve it or not. I thought I had taught my children to do the same. Today, I am facing the mortality of my parents. My dad has cancer AGAIN. I'm hoping and praying that the radiation and chemo he has to do kills the cancer and not him. My mom told me last night she heart problems and has to see a cardiologist and may have to have some kind of surgery. Somehow all the stupid arguments about who's right and who's wrong don't matter anymore. What matters is my FAMILY. Someday, hopefully a LONG, LONG time from now, my life will come to a close. I hope and pray that MY CHILDREN will have spent all the time before then loving each other and not fighting. I would hate like hell to know that the only time they saw each other was at funerals. Life is too short for the kind of bullshit ripping my family apart right now. We have spent too much time dealing with hard, sad stuff in our lives the past few years. We NEED to celebrate the GOOD STUFF together too. Please stop the fighting.

Artwork of Andrea Tadpole

Check out my new artwork section on my blog! Look on the right hand side of the page and you will see the link or click on the picture above. Enjoy!!

I Don't Want To Miss

by Andrea Tadpole

I don't want to miss
Another minute with you
Me lying alone
Longing for your kiss
Missing your strong arms
Holding me tight
With my head on your chest
Listening to your heartbeat
As I drift off to sleep

I don't want to
Reach for you deep
In the night
Only to find that
You're not there

A piece of me is gone
When we are apart
For wherever you go
You carry my heart