Message to a Friend About Grief

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

I wrote this to a friend in response to her pleas for help in dealing with grief:

I am responding in case you think no one read what you posted. Here is what I think and let me warn you, I'm not sugar coating it for you:

1. I have no idea what your relationship is like with your sister. However you DO have a family even if its small. When we are grieving loss like yours its a time for family to come together to be supportive and not get in fights over petty things. Life is too short, you most of all know that.

2. For myself, when I have been in the depth of grief it has been very intense. Its not pretty at all. I tend to send off vibes that push people away even though that's not what I want. People don't know how to handle me so they back away. I suspect you might be doing that too. It is what it is so hold on while you're riding the tsunami of grief. It will eventually get better and your family and friends will get closer.

3. Self pity is not a requirement for working through the sorrow of losing someone you loved. I am certain your husband would not want you slogging around in self pity. So, try doing something to get out of yourself. How about volunteering at a homeless shelter or the nursery at church or something? I found when I focus on helping others, even in a small way, instead of my problem, somehow it heals my heart too.

4. Find a face-to-face support group for grief or a counselor. Just find something that makes you get up and get out and focus on your own journey and recovery through this.

5. There are no quick fixes. Grief sucks. Its unpredictable, its ugly, it a rollercoaster from one day to the next emotionally. Be kind to yourself.

6. Instead of uprooting your life all at once, why don't you plan a take some trips to different places that you've always wanted to go? Figure out what YOU like first. Then if you want to move go for it!

7. Nobody can fix you. While its nice to have the company of friends, grief is a journey we walk alone. So, start taking care of yourself and stop whining. My grief therapist told me that years ago and she was right. Get up every day, put your makeup on, go for a walk or drive or whatever you can find even small bits of joy in. Eventually the small bits of joy turn into big ones and your heart will start to heal.

8. Come to Tulsa any time you want. I'd be happy to have lunch with you or something. I really do love you, ya know? ❤

9. Last but not least, pray continually. Hang on to God with all your might. Trust Him and let Him guide you. He will never let you down.

I'll get off my soapbox now.

Sending much love from this grief survivor to you. My prayers are always going up for you! 🙏🙏🙏

Prayer for My Family

My family is going through alot right now. My daughter and her two youngest girls are battling the flu right now. So far, my daughter doesn't have it. My daughter-in-love has some health issues going on and my son has his ongoing battles. My nephew, Jere is having a medical procedure tomorrow. So, I am posting a prayer for them. Please, if you believe in the power of prayer stand in agreement with me.

Prayer for My Family

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

Father God, I come to you tonight and I ask you to wrap Bella and Courtney up in your arms and give them rest and peace. I pray that you touch them and heal them from tops of their heads to the soles of their feet. I rebuke this sickness that is plaguing them and I plead the blood of Jesus over them. I speak complete healing into their bodies right now. I command, in your name that their bodies line up with your word that says by your stripes they are healed. Lord, I pray a hedge of protection around my daughter, that she will not get the flu, that it dies if touches her. I speak health and energy into her body and peace for her mind. I pray that you grant Alicia unmerited favor with her employer during this difficult time. Please give Alicia the peace passes all understanding and help her rest.

Lord, I lift Sedrick and Victioria up to you. Lord, I speak healing into Victoria's body. I pray that her immune system strengthens and heals the infection she has. Father God I pray that you give my son strength and relieve his pain. I rebuke and I cast lupus into the pits of hell where it belongs. Lord I know you have the same love for my son that you have for David. I know the lyrics and music he writes are your greatest joy and all of Heaven rejoices when he sings. Father God break Sedrick free from the writer's block he has. Loose the chains from his heart and mind and make the anointing of the Holy Spirit overtake and consume him. Lead him to the job he needs and make him prosper so he can take care of his young family.

Lord I hold up my nephew Jere to you. God I am many states away from him but you are right there with him. God, please take care of him and bring him through the procedure tomorrow safely and give him a speedy recovery. Bring all the help he needs for him and his boys to him. Calm his spirit and ease his mind in Jesus name.

Lord please bless and strengthen my parents too. Give them energy and vitality. Please keep them safe.

Father God I rebuke the spirit of fear that seems to plague us all. I pray that you would give us the stability and security that comes from knowing that you will never leave us or forsake us. Lord, I ask you to shut the mouths of those who would speak negativity into our lives and try to tear us down. Remove the bullies from our lives. Bring us all the agape love you taught us while here on earth even though we do not deserve it. Help us to treat others with that same love too.

Father God, I believe and know that my prayers go on for eternity. They don't just hit the ceiling and bounce back. The prayers my grandmother prayed for me so many years ago got me sober and keep me sober today. So, I pray in faith now for my family, my children, grandchildren and generations to come. I call down a legion of angels to surround and guard and protect them all and those to come. I rebuke the evil one who is trying to destroy them in the name of Jesus. I pray that the Holy Spirit will reach out and touch my family and give them discernment so they know which way to go in life.

Lord, I have faith in you and know you hear the prayers of this lowly woman who loves her family with all that I am. I know you answer prayers because I'm living proof. Please, protect and bless my family, children, grandchildren and those to come. Give them peace, health and prosperity. Make a way when it looks like there is none. Guide them and shelter them all the days of their lives, long after I am gone.

I pray this in the holy, blessed name of my savior and brother and your son Jesus.

Amen

Hellos from Heaven

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

Most everyone knows by now that my family and I have been through great losses over the years. My children's father Mike, my granddaughter Zoey, my grandson Mikey, my grandparents, my sister-in-law Rhonda...the list goes on and on. Grief has been a constant companion in my life because it is inevitable when I have lost those I love so much.

Over the years I have found my own ways of grieving and dealing with loss. I have found ways to find joy in the midst of deepest sorrows. There is one thing that I have done for a long time. I am not even sure when or how it started now, I just know it worked so I kept doing it. I always watch for what I call "Hellos from Heaven". These hellos are random things that happen that remind me my loved ones are still around me in spirit. For example, when I see frogs I know my grandson is near, if I see a cardinal I know it my grandmother Mary, etc. One that is particularly special to me is butterflies because I always feel my granddaughter Zoey is near.

Like most people, I often get busy and wound up in the chaos and worries of life. I forget to be still and watch for the "Hellos from Heaven". Today was one of those days. I have been very busy at work all week and also very concerned about my two granddaughters Bella and Courtney. They are both home with the flu. My daughter Alicia is a single mom and working and taking care of them. She is worn out. I have been so worried and praying like crazy for them.

Today, I decided to work straight through lunch and leave a little early so I could take a care package to the girls. I decided I would wear gloves and a mask to protect me from exposure to the flu. I stopped by the drugstore and could not find any masks. I was searching hurriedly through the store and running all kinds of ideas through my mind of what else I could use. Just as I was about to give up something orange caught my attention in the corner of my eye. I looked and there laid a beautiful orange bandana with butterflies all over it. It was just the right size to tie around my nose and mouth. I stopped in my tracks and smiled because I knew it was my sweet Zoey telling me she was with me and everything would be okay. So, I tied my butterfly bandana around my face when I went in to see the girls. They laughed and I told them about the "Hellos from Heaven" and that Zoey wanted them to know everything was going to be okay. We all laughed with joy together and I know Zoey was there laughing with us.

There are many people in this world who think my "Hellos from Heaven" are not real and that I am crazy. Those kind of people are not a part of my life for long. I know our spirits live on forever because I have seen them. I also know that just when I need it most "Hellos from Heaven" appear. Thank you my sweet Zoey for finding a way to bridge the divide and reach my heart today with your beautiful hello. I love you forever my sweet granddaughter. ❤