April 16, 2022
By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
I just want this pain
To stop
Losing you
Broke my heart
My mind
And spirit
Like I have never
Known before
I keep grasping
For someone
To throw me
A life jacket
And pull me out of the
Waves of grief
That thrash my body around
And keep sucking me
Into the deep
Everyone keeps telling me to
Pull it together
Get on with life
Get back to normal
Yet when I try
I am like a bumbling bull
In a China closet
Because nothing
Feels normal right now
When I reach out for
Those around me
Who supposedly
Love me the most
I get slapped down
And pushed away
Because grief is
Not all pretty
Or put together
It is ugly
And hideous to see
Much less be the one
Trying to get through it
One breath at a time
Till I am free
Whatever happened to
Tenderness
Compassion
Comfort
Kindness
And unconditional love
All I need is
Those closest to me
To listen
To just be there
Just BE with me
Hold me when I cry
Love me in spite of me
Help me get through
These devastating
Waves of sorrow
Tears do not come
When it is convenient
They overtake me
Out of nowhere
I go spinning
I lose my footing
And I feel lost
So instead of
Criticizing me
Telling me
I am crazy
Be strong
That life goes on
Please just love me
And hold on to me
Through this
Tsunami of grief
Until I can stand
On my own again
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