By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
Introduction
I have a very close friend of several years named Polly. She is the best friend I've ever had. She is in a longterm care facility right now. I get to talk to her on the every few days but she's not right in her mind, her memory is messed up and thoughts are disconnected. She knows who I am and that I am her best friend, but does not remember details. I just know in my heart that some day she will come back and call me out if the blue and be her old self again. So, I was thinking I am going to start a diary about my journey with her, instead of calling it Dear Diary I am calling it Dear Polly. Some day when she comes back I will give it to her to read.
The following are things I have written so far. I will add to it as I go.
11/6/19
The other night I was listening to TD Jakes. I often listen to him. He has a way with words that reach deep into my heart. He was teaching on a different subject but he spoke about the friendship and deep bond that Jonathan and David shared. He spoke about how David was a shepherd boy and Jonathan was the son of a king. They came from totally different worlds. Yet, these differences did not matter because God chose them to be together.
Well, this sermon immediately called to mind one of the best friends I've ever had in my life. Her name is Polly. We are polar opposites. She loves stylish clothes and has a house that is to die for. She has that gift for designing and making a home look absolutely beautiful. She's a phenomenal cook too.
Then there's me. I prefer a pair of old comfortable blue jeans. I've never kept up with styles. My home is clean but I've never been much of a designer. I hate to cook.
Yet, several years ago at lunchtime God made our paths cross. Little did the two of us realize what God had in store. Polly was there to help me pack and move at the end of a bad relationship. She held me and prayed with me when I cried. Over the years we have grown together.
We have weathered the storms of life together. We have laughed and celebrated in births and mourned over deaths. We have texted and called eachother at all hours of the day and night. We have prayed together many times. We have agreed, disagreed, hung up on eachother only to call back and make up. We have threatened to pull a "Thelma and Louis" and leave town together or be the "Golden Girls".
Through it all our love and friendship has survived. My life would be so empty without her in it. I have very few people in my circle and she is one. Her friendship is one of the greatest treasures I have. Tonight, I am very grateful for my friend Polly. 💜
5/6/2020
I am writing this here because this is my safe place and I do not want it broadcasted all over Facecrack land in order to protect my friend.
I have a friend in recovery whom I have talked to at least once or twice a day for the last 10 years. She admitted to me that she had a couple of relapses over the years but always appeared to get right back into recovery, meetings, steps, etc. Over the last few months she started getting physically sick. I never thought she might be drinking. I hadn't seen her for a month or so due to the pandemic but her fiance called a week ago and asked me to help him get her to the doctor. So I rushed over.
She was skin and bones and totally out of her mind as far as dates and times. She knew me but thought it was 6 months earlier. We couldn't get her to go to the doctor and it was obvious that she was a danger to herself in her mental state. So, we called an ambulance and had her taken to the hospital. She has been confused and refused to eat since being there. The doctors ran all kinds of tests.
I managed to talk to her night before last on the phone. She knows me but her thoughts are all scrambled. She wanted to know why I hadn't got to the airport to pick her up yet.
I found out today that she possibly has wet brain. Apparently she has been sneak drinking for quite a long time. No one knew. I never picked up on it. She is extremely malnourished. The doctors don't know if she will ever make it back mentally.
I am devastated to say the least. I've been sober since 7/5/1986. I realized today that I forgot how hideous and heartbreaking alcoholism is. The Bigbook says it's a "rapacious creditor" and I know that is true. I will never be able to explain why I'm still sober with no relapses and my precious friend is not. I don't understand why she has to go through this.
It's easy to forget what a deadly disease alcoholism is until we walk through something like this. Please, please if you are even thinking about drinking....DON'T DO IT. STOP. Pray and reach out to someone. Hit a meeting somewhere online, face-to-face or whatever. Just DON'T DRINK.
My heart is so completely broken right now. Please pray that God brings my friend back and keeps her sober. 🙏😢🙏
6/19/20
I called Polly this evening on her cellphone. They let her have at the facility she is at. I can call the direct line at the center but I always try her cell first hoping she will be alert enough to answer it. Most days I have to end up calling the center, but tonight she answered her cell. That made me happy.
In the past few weeks she has randomly texted me, "Are you there?" When she does I always text her back and say, "Yes, and I always will be." Then I call her. She has never texted anything else but that.
So, tonight we talked for about 20 minutes. Her mind is still so scrambled up. She knows who I am. She will try to think of a word and sometimes get tearful. She is beginning to realize something isn't right with her. Every time we talk its different. Sometimes she thinks we live in the same apartments, her upstairs and me downstairs. Sometimes she thinks we are planning my granddaughter Destiny's wedding. Other times we are meeting up for dinner later.
Once in awhile, like tonight, she has a lucid moment when she gets tearful and asks what is wrong with her. I always gently tell her she's in a safe place and has doctors and nurses there who are helping her get well.
Polly and I use to pray together over the phone quite often when life would break our hearts. I always end our calls with prayer together that God heals her. Tonight was no different.
Right before I hung up, I told Polly I got my hair done and that I would text her a picture after I hung up and to let me know what she thought later. I did that. About 30 minutes later she texted me back, "You are gorgeous!" Tears of joy have been streaming down my face off and on since then. See, I know she will come back because God is a miracle worker and waymaker. This simple text was God's reminder to me that He has Polly in His loving grip of grace.
There are people in the world that would tell me just to let her go and move on. Why subject yourself to this sorrow? She may never come back. To them I say take your cold hearted, negative, hatefulness somewhere else. See, Polly is my friend. I don't let many people in my circle and very few are called my friend. Polly is my friend.
I love you Polly. You are gorgeous too and I will always be there. 💜
6/25/20
I call Polly almost every evening. She is still in the rehab. Once in awhile I get lucky and she will chit chat with me. Usually it's totally disconnected to now but I do find comfort in at least hearing her voice. But tonight I desperately miss my friend Polly. She always has a way of talking me off the ledge. She knows how to encourage me when life gets hard or my heart hurts. We would always pray together for eachother.
I understand the importance of HIPPA laws for patient privacy. However, I just wish I could visit her. But since I'm not family, I'm not allowed. I don't understand how a very good friend can be tossed aside so easily. I that if Polly's mind came back she'd want me there.
I do not know how people live with Alzheimers or Dementia patients and care for them till they die. I think they must be angels and the love they have for their person my run so deep it.pushes to stay. I know the love I have for Polly compels to keep calling her even when she doesn't understand what is going on.
Sometimes I want to yell into the phone COME BACK.TO ME! PLEASE COME BACK. I don't because i know she isn't gone on purpose. I hold out hope and pray that someday when I call my friend Polly will be back.
7/1/20
When my world was falling apart and I was teetering on the edge, I could always call Polly and she would talk me down and listen to my heart. Last night and the wee hours of this morning I need to talk to Polly so bad. I know its selfish, but the love and understanding of a intimate friend and confidant is the best medicine in the world. I will take the time to call her tomorrow even though she does not remember my life for the past few years. Sometimes just the sound of her voice is soothing. God please bring Polly back. 💜😭💜😭💜
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