It's Been 3 Years...

written on February 28, 2009 at 1:14am
by Andrea Tadpole

It's been 3 years today since my little granddaughter Zoey graced us with her life for a brief 11 minutes. I cannot believe it has been 3 years already. Time has run way too fast. Since then, we lost little Mikey too and welcomed Bella and Courtney into the world. Two children born of deep sorrow and two of great joy.

The hardest part has been Mikey because I never got to see his spirit awaken within him. I saw Zoey's for 11 minutes. Those minutes are forever seared in my mind. She had such a bright and strong spirit. Sometimes I think her spirit was just too beautiful for this hard, old world and that is why her life was so short.

I have realized over the last year that I have experienced Mikey's spirit in a different way. He has touched my heart in the deep, quiet places of my soul. He taught me about forgiveness.

My old selfish self still longs to see Zoey and Mikey; to laugh with them and play with them like I do Bella and Courtney. I long to teach them and watch them make exciting new discoveries and yet I cannot.

Heaven is so far away, yet so close that I miss it. I wish I could be there with them just to know them face to face. There is one song called Bring the Rain by Mercy Me. When I hear it I can see Zoey and Mikey dancing with Jesus and it soothes my aching heart to know they are with Him and happy.

It is in the stillness that I see them, not in the craziness of life. Maybe that is their lesson to me. That I need to slow down and still my mind so I can see the beauty of Heaven that is already there before me in the quiet places.