Dressing Zoey

I started writing this on 12/23/19 but I thought it fitting to post it on Christmas. So, get a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and read what is in my heart because it is all I have to give this Christmas. 

Dressing Zoey

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

12/23/19

Lately, my life has been a chaotic mess. My husband almost died right in front of me a couple weeks ago. My birthday was right after that and it sucked. We had plumbing problems at our house the other day. Then, today has been totally hectic. I have been trying to sort out last minute Christmas details with my daughter and got nowhere. To top it all off, the radiator hose on my car busted. This evening I felt like my whole world was falling down around me.

I stumbled into bed earlier and my husband was watching a movie about the life of Christ and the crucifixion. I laid there and watched it. There was a scene toward the end that really pierced my heart. It was when Mary Magdalene was cleaning and dressing Jesus's body after they pulled Him down from the cross.

This scene took me back to a moment in my life with my little granddaughter Zoey. Zoey was born at 18 weeks gestation. She lived 11 minutes. In those few moments I saw her spirit. It was indescribably beautiful; yet it was horrible because I knew she was not long for this world. 

After Zoey went on to the arms of Jesus, her mother begged me to find a white dress for her. So, I bolted out of the hospital and drove all over town searching for a tiny, white dress for Zoey. I drove, looked and cried for what felt like days even though it was only a few hours. Finally, I happened to see a sign that said "Kathleen's Toys" on it. Kathleen is my middle name so I decided stop in. I explained to lady at the counter that I needed a little, white dress to bury my beloved granddaughter in. She showed me a dress for a newborn baby. I explained that it was way too big and told her how tiny Zoey was. She sadly told me she had nothing that small in stock. 

Just as I was walking out the door of the store a tiny doll dressed as a bride in a beautiful white dress caught my eye. It was in the back corner on the bottom shelf of a glass display case right by the door. I stopped in my tracks and called the store clerk over. She was just as surprised as I was because she did not remember having that doll. It just so happened that the price was exactly the amount of money I had to spend down to the penny. I know to this day that one of God's angels put that there for Zoey.

I returned to the hospital with the dress. When I got there I am sure everyone was there somewhere but here is what I remember. Zoey's mother was still holding her wrapped in a little blanket. Zoey's great grandmother Barbara was there too. I showed them the dress I had found. Zoey's mother burst out in tears and said it was perfect and everything she imagined. 

I had not expected to be involved in dressing Zoey but there I was with Zoey's mother and her great grandmother. It was as if Zoey had asked God to have the two of us dress her. In my entire life I have never faced such a daunting task. I looked at Barbara and knew she was overwhelmed too. Yet, we both knew what a sacred and holy thing it was that we were about to do. 

We had to be extremely careful while dressing Zoey because her skin was so delicate and her tiny bones so brittle that one wrong move would have been disastrous to any already heart crushing day. The whole time we were slowly and gently dressing Zoey I was praying in the spirit under my breath. I felt the hands of the Holy Spirit guiding me and Barbara every minuscule step of the way. The dress fit perfectly as if it were tailor made just for Zoey. She looked like an angel in it and I know I heard Heaven rejoice once we were finished.

So, tonight I was watching this scene in the show of Mary Magdalene dressing Jesus in His burial clothes. I thought how He knew the whole time she was following Him during His time on earth that she would be the one that was chosen to dress Him for burial. I can only imagine how she must have felt and the love she must have had for Him. I am by no means as precious as Mary Magdalene, not by any stretch. However, it was that same great love that Mary had for Jesus and I had for Zoey that gave me the strength to dress her. It called to my mind the even greater love that Jesus had for us all.

Most days I am a bumbling mess stumbling through life like a bull in China closet. I cannot see the forest for all the trees, let alone know what to do or which way to turn. That is exactly where I am right now. Yet, God, ever so lovingly in His own way, stops me in my tracks and reminds me of the things He has brought me through and the Holy, sacred moments that He has used me in spite of my imperfections in doing something as beautiful as dressing Zoey. He also showed me once again the greatest gift of love He has ever given us is His son. 

I am finishing this story on Christmas day. I have had better Christmas days. This one is quiet and lonely and I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I am reminded of the tremendous, never ending love my Abba Father has for me and us all in the gift He gave us in Jesus. I am also forever grateful for the other gift He gave me, a messed up bag of bones grandma in being blessed in dressing Zoey. 

So to my granddaughter Zoey, my grandson Michael AJ and a host of others in Heaven...you are the most blessed because you are there with Jesus rocking His house for his birthday! Dance, Zoey dance!!

To my family and friends here on earth with me, I love you more than I know how to say and miss you so much my heart hurts. We will celebrate together again some day. 

Merry Christmas!!