Potato Soup
By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
Today I am grateful for potato soup. I know you might think I am crazy but allow me to explain. Sometimes when I miss my loved ones who live far away or even ones in Heaven, memories will come to my mind. Here lately I have been missing my momma alot. She lives in Florida. I have also been deeply missing her momma, my grandmother Mary. She is in Heaven. Even though I know she is here in spirit there are days I just wish my mom and I could sit and have a cup of Tasters Choice instant coffee with grandma like we use to. It was her favorite coffee. I was so young back then I did not realize what a treasure those times were.
I started thinking about how my mom and my grandmother always cooked the best food when I was growing up. The other day it was cold and rainy and I was bored. I remembered on days like this one my mom and grandma would always whip up the best pot of potato soup. So, I set out to recreate it. Now, you need to understand that is no easy task for me. I am not naturally gifted at cooking like my mother is or like my grandmother was. I called my girlfriend, she sent recipes and I found some of my own.
I decided to add my own touch to the soup and added spicy sausage and velveeta cheese. The soup turned out okay but it was not perfect. My husband, who is a phenomenal cook ate it. I enjoyed it too. I had plenty left so I put up for another meal.
We decided to have it again for dinner this evening. I added more potatoes and some carrots and celery to it. The whole time I was messing around with it I had the greatest feeling of joy. I added a dash of this seasoning and dash of that one. I could hear my grandmother and great aunts Jessie and Frankie who have gone on to Heaven laughing and talking like they use to around the kitchen table at Thanksgiving. Memories of my mom cooking dinner when I was a child flooded my mind's eye.
Tonight the potato soup was even better than a few days before. All the flavors had gelled together and it tasted exquisite to me. My husband even said it was delicious. If you know him that's a major compliment! I suspect my grandmother threw in an extra dash love when I was not looking.
Once again, I realized how blessed I have been to have such strong and beautiful women in my life. None of them were or are perfect, no one ever is. Yet, I have always known in my heart they loved me no matter what, especially my momma and my grandmother.
God blows my mind most days with the things He uses to teach me and remind of His love. Today He used potato soup. Go figure! I will think of it the same.
I love you grandma Mary and momma!!
The other night I was listening to TD Jakes. I often listen to him. He has a way with words that reach deep into my heart. He was teaching on a different subject but he spoke about the friendship and deep bond that Jonathan and David shared. He spoke about how David was a shepherd boy and Jonathan was the son of a king. They came from totally different worlds. Yet, these differences did not matter because God chose them to be together.
Well, this sermon immediately called to mind one of the best friends I've ever had in my life. Her name is Polly. We are polar opposites. She loves stylish clothes and has a house that is to die for. She has that gift for designing and making a home look absolutely beautiful. She's a phenomenal cook too. Then there's me. I prefer a pair of old comfortable blue jeans. I've never kept up with styles. My home is clean but I've never been much of a designer. I hate to cook.
Yet, several years ago at lunchtime God made our paths cross. Little did the two of us realize what God had in store. Polly was there to help me pack and move at the end of a bad relationship. She held me and prayed with me when I cried. Over the years we have grown together.
We have weathered the storms of life together. We have laughed and celebrated in births and mourned over deaths. We have texted and called eachother at all hours of the day and night. We have prayed together many times. We have agreed, disagreed, hung up on eachother only to call back and make up. We have threatened to pull a "Thelma and Louis" and leave town together or be the "Golden Girls".
Through it all our love and friendship has survived. My life would be so empty without her in it. I have very few people in my circle and she is one. Her friendship is one of the greatest treasures I have. Tonight, I am very grateful for my friend Polly. 💜
Today I am grateful for the unconditional love God has for me. No matter how many times I've screwed up in my life, and believe me there have been many, God still loves me and takes care of me. His love, grace and mercy is never ending.
The Grasshopper
By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
I wrote this on 8/17/19
Today I hurriedly got in the car to go get my nails done. I jumped in and took off real fast. Just as I rounded the corner out of my neighborhood I noticed there was a grasshopper sitting on the outside of my windshield. I did not want to turn on my windshield wipers and kill him. I figured he would get blown away or jump soon. As I was driving, I started thinking about how much my granddaughter Destiny hates grasshoppers. They scare her because they jump so high and fast.
I realized that grasshoppers have been all around me this summer and it was obvious that this one wanted to hitch a ride. I was heading to the other side of town from where I lived to an area called Jenks, it is much nicer than my neighborhood. By now I was on the highway several miles away from home. The grasshopper was still there hanging on for dear life to the windshield wiper. As the wind picked up he moved behind the wiper where he was shielded from the wind.
I started thinking about how God always uses even the smallest animal to teach me things and here was this tiny grasshopper on this journey with me. It was no coincidence. It occurred to me that wherever this grasshopper decided to finally jump off at would be a whole new world for him. He was going from the ghetto that I lived in to a much better place.
I thought about what a windshield does. It actually shields me from the wind. I started laughing and thinking about all the different sermons I have listened to lately. They have been about God's love and how He grants us favor and shields us during life’s storms. They have spoken of how His mercies are never-ending and how He moves swiftly to elevate us to higher levels.
Then I thought, I am just like this grasshopper. I live in the ghetto, I have all these true needs and troubles on my mind. So, not too long ago I decided to jump on God’s car and hitch a ride. So, here I am now on His windshield hanging on for dear life because my world is crazy right now. I have managed to get behind the wiper, to His hiding place where I am shielded from the wind. I am careening through space at what feels like warp speed on God’s highway. I do not know where I am going but it has to be better than where I have been.
My favorite story in the Bible is Doubting Thomas because that is who I am. I do not understand what I call the “name it claim it, nab it blab it” churches that say you must have enough faith to get something. I do EVERYTHING afraid most of the time. I just keep getting up every day and asking God if He is real and He lets me poke His side and see the nail scars in His hands. Then, just like the grasshopper, I jump on His windshield for another day and hitch a ride. So far He has never let me fly off and I always eventually end up in a better place.
Thank you tiny grasshopper for letting God use you to teach me something today. Hope where you hopped off was Heaven to you!
by Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
When my granddaughter Zoey died I used to listen to this CD over and over because it comforted me. One time I saw Zoey at God's throne dancing and worshipping in a vision. She looked at me and grabbed my hand and said, "Dance GeGe, dance!!" She pulled me out from the side and we danced around the throne together. I will never forget it. I lost the CD years ago and have longed for it but I could not remember the name of it, only what the cover looked like. Today, I have felt like giving up. My eyes are worse, I'm tired and other stuff going on. I sit down and open YouTube to listen to something inspirational and what pops up out of nowhere just now? Zoey and my grandson Mikey always find a way to say hello from Heaven!!! I am just so humbled by God's love right now as I listen with tears running down my face. Even in the one of the hardest times of my life He gives me this...the very thing my heart, mind and spirit needed.
Watch "Various Artists - Adonai: The Power Of Worship From The Land Of Israel" on YouTube
https://youtu.be/TJC5djHAliA
It is midnight on July 5, 2019 and I am celebrating 33 years of sobriety. I always call July 5th my rebirth day because it was the day God gave me my life back and I was reborn. This past year has been hell. In many ways one of the worst of my sobriety. I have not picked up a drug or drink thanks to God's amazing grace and mercy. Yet, there have been many things that have happened beyond my control that cut me to the bone. Most days I have literally trudged through the day fighting back tears. I have buried my grandmother, buried my husband's brother, dealt with family drama that ripped my heart apart, survived the recent flood, then spent 9 days in the hospital with a vision problem that still is not solved. I have other problems going on too every day.
Yet, in the middle of all the seeming chaos and sorrow of my life I have had some very awesome and beautiful things happen. We celebrated the birth of my beautiful grandson Michael Charles in December. He was an answer to many prayers from myself and our family. He is the happiest little boy and his smile and laughter is the medicine for my broken spirit.
We celebrated the high school graduation of my oldest granddaughter Destiny in May. That moment was one of the proudest for me. See, when she was born I did not know how we could provide for her. Yet, step by step and day by day God has always made a way for her.
I have watched my son, daughter, daughter-in-love, granddaughters Kaylee, Bella and Courtney push through life one day at a time as well. All of my granddaughters made it through another year of school. My kids have survived despite bumps and sometimes craters in the road of life. Despite their imperfections I am so proud of them and love them with all that I am.
Tonight I was sitting in the house thinking I always buy and watch the kids shoot fireworks to celebrate my sobriety birthday and this year I did not have the money. I thought well it is what it is. Then, Andre came inside and said come watch the fireworks. So, I went out to the yard and the neighbors put on a show. It was just what I needed. Sometimes I forget that God is ALWAYS there, even in the littlest things like fireworks for me to watch and celebrate my sobriety.
I asked my son yesterday, "Where is your gratitude?" The reality is, I was asking myself. There are lots of changes coming in the future...some good, some bad, some sad, some unexpected. Yet, I am reminded again to count my blessings and be grateful for all that I have. I do not know what the next year brings, but with God's grace and mercy I will face it sober. For, without my sobriety I have nothing.
One last thought, when I got sober 33 years ago I was young and scared. I had no idea how to do this thing called life and I wanted to die. Yet this little boy Sedrick and little girl Alicia desperately needed me to pull it together and be the mother I needed to be. So, I took it scary step by scary step, minute by minute, day by day. If had relapsed back to drinking and drugging I would have died and missed out on these two beautiful children and their lives. They have grown with me and often raised me, but we made it. I am so grateful I did not miss out on them and my grandchildren. What a gift!
I live about 2 miles from the levy walls on 65th W Ave and Charles Page. This is the scariest thing I've gone through in my life other than getting sober a long time ago. At one point the other night I didn't know if I should hide in the basement from a tornado or climb on the roof because of a flood. I prayed and God gave me the clarity I needed. My granddaughter, my animals and I are safe. People stepped up to help, they are my angels. I wish my husband was here but he stayed home to keep looters away. I hope he doesn't get hurt.
I was laying in my hotel bed after I evacuated in the wee hours of Sunday morning thinking and I realized this flood and storms is a metaphor for my life. I am dealing with a problem with my vision and I have random spells of blurred vision and sometimes blindness, it's a possible brain tumor or something. I'm waiting on a cancellation at Claremore Indian hospital for an MRI of my eyes and brain. If they don't get a cancellation soon my appointment is July 30th. I'm scared...BIG TIME SCARED. I can't wait that long!! I'm also looking for another job and have other issues to deal with.
This whole flood nightmare has made me go back to one day, one hour, one minute at a time. I have to take life that way right now or I'll go crazy. So, all this crap life is throwing at me is in God's hands. I can't, He can, I think I'll let Him.
I have a granddaughter Zoey who died many years ago and she always comes to me as a butterfly. Today I was out walking my dog and a tiny little butterfly flew ahead of me all along my walk. Any time I stopped it stopped. I know it was Zoey telling me that even though I don't know what the future holds or what the plan is everything will be ok.
I realized it's my sister-in-law Rhonda's birthday today so in her memory I am reposting this.
Note: I wrote this for my "Big Sis" Rhonda...I will miss her and never forget her...RIP Rhonda :'(
The Oldest
by Andrea Tadpole
You were told
From the very start
You're the oldest
You must be strong
Take care of your
Little brothers and sisters
Protect them
And guard their
Every heart
You must always
Be there
Whatever is needed
You do
Yet never
Show your
Weakness
Lest you fail
The little ones
They're always
Looking up to you
Problem is
You never learned
To let anyone
Care for you
You hid your worries
Deep inside
After all
You're the oldest
That's what you were
Supposed to do
Why does God
Let some live
While others
He let's die
It seems
He takes the
Beautiful ones
And leaves
The rest of us
To cry
I suspect
He looked down
And saw your
Every pain
Knew you couldn't
Take it and
Brought you home
Out of the rain
I texted this to my son today and I don't want to lose it. I'm going to put in the book I write before I die someday.
Thoughts on Faith
By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
You remember when Destiny was born? When Alicia got pregnant I had no clue how I was going to take care of a baby. I had no money and a crappy job. I look back and I see God's hands all over us then. If He can do that then He will take care of you and Victoria and Michael. Help will come from the strangest most unexpected places. Look at where it came from for us and Destiny.
People who didn't even know us came out of the woodwork. We were given diapers and clothes enough that I didn't buy any for a year! God reminded me of money Mike had hidden years before and I was able to get a car for Alicia. Someone gave her just enough $ for a crib and carseat. Someone else gave us the pack n play.
You and I are both in a scary spot in life but these are times when God shines the brightest.
Sonya texted me this the other day:
God writes your story. Praying you are able to live the story God wrote about you! Also, in Exodus, there is a scripture when the Hebrew people left Egypt and were up against the sea God spoke to them and said "Stand still and watch the salvation of the Lord". Same goes for you!
When I read that I got this picture in my heart of little old me standing at the Red Sea with parted walls of water towering over me on either side. I could hear God saying, "Walk through, I got this." Could you imagine that? I stood there for a minute amazed and terrified but then I saw the Egyptians or enemies fast approaching so I thought what the hell go for it. Somehow despite my humanity and Doubting Thomas personality, God still pulls me through and saves me. He does the same for you.
So, you tell me to have faith and I'll tell you. We will get thru this thing called life together. Ok? I love you son.
It's been 235 days since my grandma Lillian died. This came in my email today. I like what it says.
Tears - Day #235
My most recent hospice client hated to cry. Part of it comes from being unable to wipe her own tears away; part of it comes from family members who tend to get annoyed or angry when she cries – because they are powerless to “fix things,” not because they’re mean. Her tears make her really mad; and this anger has nowhere to go either: she is literally paralyzed in bed and has no way to rid herself of rage. She is physically frozen, but emotionally seething.
One day I read her a passage from a book about the healing power of tears, and it was the key to moving her forward into expressing her grief around her own imminent passing. She cried for a long time; not sobbing, just a quiet weeping. I wiped her eyes, and cheeks, sat very close, and looked at her with compassion and love.
Don’t forget to cry, and do it often. Every drop carries away the toxins of sorrow, and leaves your body refreshed and more able to carry on through the overall grieving process.
Quotation of the Day
And with tears of blood he cleansed the hand,
The hand that held the steel:
For only blood can wipe out blood
And only tears can heal. - Oscar Wilde
My husband wrote this for his sister who died in 2001. I'm sharing it on my blog so I do not lose it. I think its beautiful.
Butterfly Message for Dearest Carolyn
Our Daughter, Our Sister, Mother, Wife and Friend
July 1, 1965 – May 9, 2001
By Andre M. Broussard
Your beautiful smile now will be shared by all to see. You smiled through the pain. Your many Journeys through life have been a challenge. You have managed to continue on, when so many would have given up. Your strength and courage has been a personal testament to us all. You have earned your wings among the Angels.
Your growth and development reminds us all of the Butterfly Message which went as follows:
A man found a cocooned butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seems to stop making progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could not go any farther. So, to help the butterfly he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, but it had a swollen body and small-shriveled wings. The man watched and waited for the butterfly to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in all of our lives. If God were to let us go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly! Carolyn, God healing your wings enabling you to soar above us all, has given us hope, that one day our wings will be healed, and each of us will be able to fly together someday.
Now, when we look up among the stars, and gaze at the many beautiful wonders of the night, your star will be the newest and brightest of them all. When we feel the heat from the sun upon us, it will be you embracing us all, letting your loved ones know, you have arrived safely into God’s arms, and you have been greeted by other loved ones, who arrived earlier. And you have been welcomed with open loving arms.
From time to time, there will be signals from you above, reminding each of us that you are keeping a watchful eye on us all. Each time we see a butterfly, we will see you.
We release you for your long awaited journey home. We all know you have left a piece of you here, to protect the many memories of you.
You are loved and cherished and will always be remembered.
Love, your family and friends.
by Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
I have always believed that animals have spirits. I also believe that animals are sent to be in our lives like people are. Back in mid February, a friend of mine, April Rain Wind, rescued a dog and posted it on Facebook in hopes that someone would foster him. I usually scroll on by those types of posts but this one stopped me in my tracks. Nanuk, as he has been dubbed, is a White Siberian Husky. His eyes are a beautiful, ice blue and they captivated me from the start, even in pictures. Nanuk had been obviously abused. His 2 front legs had been broken. He also had a choke collar with teeth that had been on him so long it had grown into his neck. He ended up having surgery on his legs and they had to cut the choke collar off.
One thing lead to another and Nanuk came to live with us. From the moment we met he has been like a long lost friend to me. Its as if we've known eachother forever. He is sweet and loving in spite of past hurts. His eyes are even more beautiful in person and I know he can see into a person's soul. I'm very blessed to get share this journey with him.
Over the last few weeks we have all worked hard with him. We have done everything the vet said. He's been on very limited activity, crate to leash to outside for bathroom breaks or eating only. Worn a cone around his neck 24/7. Absolutely no running or jumping. When he first came to us he had splints on both front legs and they were wrapped. At his first checkup the vet found that the splints rubbed sores on his legs that got infected. He spent a few days in the hospital then back home with even more limited activity. If anyone has ever had a Husky you know what a challenge this has been!
Slowly over the weeks Nanuk was getting better and better. He was also making inroads in my heart. My life had been pretty stressful and he made me focus on something besides me. Needless to say, we have become close friends. I believe you can do that with animals. It's strange, no words every really spoken, yet a bond has grown out of the seeds of love and hope that were planted every day in the commitment to be there.
Anyway, last Saturday, Nanuk took a turn for the worse. He would not use his right leg at all. It started swelling and he was in alot of pain. April and I rushed him to the vet and they said his body might be rejecting the hardware in his legs. We were so scared and I was an emotional wreck inside. The vet started him on antibiotics and we posted a call for prayer for him on Facebook.
All I can say is, PRAYER WORKS!!! Yesterday morning when I took Nanuk for a walk he was putting weight on his right front leg on the walk outside. On the way back in he started limping, I assumed from being tired. As the day went on he got better and better. April, whom I now call his his rescuer and "angel extraordinaire", and I took him to the vet after work anyway. The vet said he thought the infection was localized and not a rejection to the hardware. He put him on 6 weeks of antibiotics to make sure all infection completely clears out. He said he did not have to wear the cone anymore and next Monday we can start with gradual normal activities. The vet said everything is healing nicely!!
I am so grateful to everyone who has touched Nanuk's life in any way, be it through donations, time, and prayers. I know prayer works!! I am also grateful to this beautiful dog, Nanuk for pulling me and my dear friend April back together. Life makes us all crazy busy sometimes and we lose each other in the pursuit of God-knows-what...I know I'm guilty of it. I believe all animals come to us to teach lessons. Nanuk has taught me to refocus and make time for the ones I Iove.
Thanks again for the prayers everyone! I will keep you updated.
P.S. I let him off the leash for just a few seconds, the first time in weeks. Of course he had to do a victory lap!!! I'm sure next Monday he'll really go crazy! 😍
by Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
Last Saturday Nanuk took a turn for the worse. He would not use his right leg at all. It started selling and he was in alot of pain. We rushed him to the vet and they said his body might be rejecting the hardware in his legs. We were so scared and I was an emotional wreck inside. The vet started him on antibiotics and we posted a call for prayer for him on Facebook.
All I can say is, PRAYER WORKS!!! Yesterday morning when I took Nanuk for a walk he was putting weight on his right front leg on the walk outside. On the way back in he started limping I assumed from being tired. As the day went on he got better and better. April Rain Wind, his rescuer and angel extraordinaire and I took him to the vet after work anyway. The vet said he thought the infection was localized and not a rejection to the hardware. He put him on 6 weeks of antibiotics to make sure all infection completely clears out. He said he did not have to wear the cone anymore and next Monday we can start with gradual normal activities. The vet said everything is healing nicely!! I am so grateful to everyone who has touched Nanuk's life in any way, be it through donations, time, and prayers. I know prayer works!! I am also grateful to this beautiful dog Nanuk for pulling me and friend April back together. Life makes us all crazy busy sometimes and we lose each other in the pursuit of God-knows-what...I know I'm guilty of it. I believe all animals come to us to teach lessons. Nanuk has taught me to refocus and make time for the ones I Iove. Thanks again for the prayers everyone! I will keep you updated.
P.S. I let him off the leash for just a few seconds, the first time in weeks. Of course he had to do a victory lap!!! I'm sure next Monday he'll really go crazy! 😍
I wrote this back in February when I first started fostering my rescue dog Nanuk, a Siberian Husky.
by Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
I have always believed that animals have spirits. I also believe that animals are sent to be in our lives like people are. Recently, a friend of mine rescued a dog and posted it on Facebook in hopes that someone would foster him. I usually scroll on by those types of posts but this one stopped me in my tracks. Nanuk as he has been dubbed, is a White Siberian Husky. His eyes are a beautiful ice blue and they captivated me from the start even in pictures. Nanuk had been obviously abused. He had 2 broken legs. He also had choke collar with teeth that had been on him so long it had grown into his neck. He ended up having surgery on his legs and they had to cut the choke collar off.
One thing lead to another and Nanuk came to live with us. From the moment we met he has been like a long lost friend to me. Its as if we've known eachother forever. He is sweet and loving in spite of past hurts. His eyes are even more beautiful in person and I know he can see into a person's soul. I'm very blessed to get share this journey with him. I love you Nanuk! ❤
by Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
If I died tonight
Would you miss me
Would you have regrets
Things you should have said or done
Would you miss my smile
Crave my touch
In the very depths of your soul
Yet know that you’d never have it
That I’d never be there to hold
If I died tonight
Would your heart ache
And grasp desperately at any way
To cross the great divide
For just a second with me
With your arms open wide
Out of nowhere
Would you hear my voice
Calling out your name
Would you feel your heart leap
Maybe even look
Then remember I’m gone forever
I won’t be coming back again
Eternity is a long time
There are no overs
So why are you wasting your life
And why are you wasting mine
If I died tonight
How would you feel
Really
Stop for one minute and think
How would you feel
I guess I’m the only one that’s real
I live in the moment
I live in now
Sometimes that’s not pretty
Sometimes it’s not happy, joyous and free
It sucks
It’s just reality
See I understand
We don’t live forever
Today is all we have
If you need me
I’m there
I’ll listen
I’ll carry the burden with you
Because I know
If you died tonight
I’d miss you
You’re in my heart
Part of me would die too
If I died tonight
Would you miss me
Just asking
Just need to know
It seems like I'm not that special
Easily forgotten
Even easier to let go
