By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard
8/10/23
I joined a group on Facebook called Gratitude Slam a couple of months ago. One thing lead to another and I ended up attending a virtual retreat lead by MIC and E-Rad, two very awesome life coaches. Now I am part of a 90 day cohort in their program call Life On Your Terms (LOYT).
Part of the work I did at the retreat was to determine my life purpose and 2 results I would like to see in the next 90 days. These things also dovetail into the LOYT program. So, this is my proclamation of the results or goals I want achieve in the next 90 days and the actions I am committing to myself and my trusted LOYT cohort to take.
The 2 results I would like to see in the next 90 days are:
1. I want to feel more optimistic about my future.
2. I want to get my focus aka my internal compass back so I can make better decisions and choices for my future.
OPTIMISM
This is important to me because I know I will slip into a deep depression if I keep going like I have been in the past couple of years. I am a recovering alcoholic and depression leads to drinking and drinking leads to death. I am not willing to rest on my laurels any longer.
The actions I commit to take in the next 90 days to work toward more optimism are:
1. Attend and DO THE WORK in LOYT.
2. Connect with others in the Gratitude Slam group.
3. Focus on MYSELF and MY needs FIRST.
4. Say “NO” more when I am tired or drained.
5. Continue to do things that honor my Dad like finishing his blanket of valor, writing stories about him and decorating his grave with flowers as often as possible.
6. Make a concentrated effort to focus on positive things coming in the future (my twin great-grandbabies).
GET FOCUS/INTERNAL COMPASS BACK
This is important to me because I feel like life has slammed me to the ground over and over again. I had brain surgery in 2020; my mom nearly died in summer of 2021 and my stepdad did die from COVID at the same time; I moved my mom back from Florida to Oklahoma by myself in September 2021; my dad got sick in October 2021 and died on February 11, 2022. I held his hand until he died. I have felt completely lost since my Dad died. I cannot imagine my future, much less what I want and need for my day to day life. I feel like my internal compass is obliterated. I MUST get it back. I cannot go on the way I am.
The actions I commit to take in the next 90 days to work toward getting my focus/internal compass back are:
1. Attend and DO THE WORK in LOYT.
2. Set small, achievable goals for myself. Remember, progress not perfection!
3. Create a vision board for my own personal future desires and goals and start taking action toward them.
4. Reach out more to others. Stop isolating!
5. Focus on my life purpose.
6. Focus on my values and what I honor in life.
MY LIFE PURPOSE
My life scripture is from the Bible in Isaiah 58:6-12:
“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: To loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter— When you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.”
Part of my life purpose comes from this scripture. It is “repairer of people with broken walls.”
MY LIFE PURPOSE IS
To carry the message of hope, gratitude and love to my family , friends and others I meet along my journey through life each day. By doing this I will help the lost and hurting rebuild their broken lives.
KEYS & PRINCIPLES
In order to live out my purpose I will continue to face the obstacles and grief I am now in. I want to find freedom from the depression that has plagued me for so long. I want to show my children, grandchildren and soon coning great-grandbabies by example that no matter how difficult life gets there is always something positive to focus on.
The keys and principles I received from the retreat will help me to achieve the results I want in 90 days. They will also help me continue to heal, grow and live my life purpose. These are my keys and principles.
1. Middle C
As long as I choose to attempt to shut out the low notes, the opposite high notes are canceled out too. Eventually all I have left is middle C. Then, the music inside me becomes dull and lifeless and I cannot hear the beautiful orchestra of life.
I will feel/acknowledge all feelings (high/low good/bad positive/negative). For to deny a negative one cancels out a positive one. Eventually if I deny feelings long enough, the Orchestra of life will stop playing around me and my world will turn dull.
I WILL NOT LET THE MUSIC DIE INSIDE ME!!
2. Color
I will endeavor to bring the color back into my world.
Living in the numbing gray of disassociation helps no one and will kill my dreams.
When I take on the feelings of others and allow them to suck the life out of me, my point of view and life turns to a dull and saddening gray.
If I want the colors of the rainbow back in my life I must learn to focus on ME first and care for myself first. I must acknowledge and accept my feelings high and low, without judgment.
When I do not do this everything fades to gray, the music inside me dies, I become a dry well and I lose all the beautiful colors I love so much.
I cannot give what I do have inside myself. So, I must do the work on myself in order to be present in my life, then I can help others and get my rainbow back.
3. Orchestra
If I want to hear the full orchestra again in my life I must take action every day to heal myself. Part of that action was to join LOYT. I DESERVE TO LIVE LIFE ON MY TERMS!!!
4. Isolation/Connection
One of the biggest keys I experienced during the retreat was isolation/connection.
When I was not able to fully participate because of issues with Zoom it forced me to feel the deepness of the isolation I have allowed in my life. It made me realize that I have been on the autopilot of survival mode and have shut everyone out for a long time. This is due mainly from being so completely devastated from the death of my father and other issues in my life.
This experience also made me understand how deeply the isolation feels from those who supposedly love me the most.
It also taught me how vitally important it is to seek out and maintain healthy connection with others. The action I have taken so far to do this is being an active participant in Gratitude Slam, NTD, Positive Mindset Retreat and joining LOYT.
I will stop isolating from everyone. I will make myself more open to others I meet on life’s path.
5. Compass
I will take actions to tune in to my internal compass so I can find my way back to me. Being lost just leaves me spinning around in the mud puddle and helps no one.
Some of the actions I will take are attending LOYT and doing the work and remaining active in Gratitude Slam.
By taking these actions I will be able to shut up Congress in my head. This will enable me to focus on my internal compass again.
6. Values
Humility: I will be humble and ask for help when I need it. By doing this I will show others it is okay to not be strong all the time.
I will conduct myself with honesty, integrity and compassion in order to be open to those in need.
Courage: I will not be afraid to shine my light for others.
Love: I will love myself FIRST. By putting my needs and desires first, I will be full inside so I can give love to others.
7. Voices
God has blessed me with many creative gifts or voices: writing, painting, sewing to name a few. He gave these gifts to me to be able to reach a person’s heart and show them the love He has for them.
I will use my creative voices to share the message of love with others and help them rebuild their broken walls.
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