by Andrea Tadpole Broussard
WARNING: Do not read this wrong, I'm NOT suicidal. I am very happy with my life in spite of the daily struggles of life. Having said that, sometimes when I think about all the loved ones I have in Heaven I often think that they are the lucky ones. They are at God's throne with no cares or worries. Sickness and sorrow is gone for them. Yet, I'm still here in the crazy messed up world trying to eek out a living and hang on to whatever job I currently have, deal with physical problems with me and family still living, whatever life throws at me, etc ad nauseum. I get all wrapped up in focusing on all the problems and lose my focus. When I get like this I have to make myself stop and breathe. I have to force myself to focus on the small joys (which are actually huge ones) like my grandchildren and their laughter, the unconditional love of my dog and cat, the awesome man I call my husband, the fact that I'm one day at a time headed to 30 years sober this summer, coffee with a good friend, and the list goes on in my mind. When I shift my focus to this I start to remember that God is still here and taking care of me and my loved ones. Even in spite of a more often than not cruel world God has and still does carry us all through.
As my sponsor and dear friend Gail Langston always tells me, "Turn the magnifying glass around and magnify God instead of the problem. Make God one inch bigger than your problem." I struggle to do this daily but when I do I get glimpse of Heaven right before me in the eyes of angels who appear out of nowhere to help. I always say that God is so slow yet somehow always right on time. I just have to trust Him and never stop praying.
I have family and friends who are dealing with heavy issues and problems right now. These things are out of my control. They weigh heavy on my mind and heart. All I can do is pray, the reality is that prayer is the best thing I can do. Believe me when I tell you I'm praying...I AM PRAYING. It's not just a nice post, I mean it. So, I've rambled here in this post but I hope those in my inner circle understand that I have not forgotten you. I'm still praying. God has not forgotten you. Magnify Him and not the problem. Trust Him. I love you guys!!
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