I Have No Muse

NOTE: This was written several months ago. I am just now getting it added to my blog.

By Andrea Tadpole

I have no muse
I have decided

Maybe I’m wrong
I don’t know

Maybe it’s the whole world
The circumstances
That I find myself in
Situations that prick my heart
Make my soul bleed
Make me want to beg for breath

Maybe it’s the things that bring me
The greatest joy
And the deepest sorrow

Maybe it’s the events and moments
That I find so tantalizing to my mind
That I don’t know how to say it
Or put it into words

I’m an artist
I’m a painter
I’ve lost the use of my hand
I cannot paint reality anymore
I struggle so hard
I want more than anything
To paint what I see
Yet I’ve lost my voice
I’ve lost my brush

All I have left
Are mere words
And somehow
They’re not enough

To open up my heart
To put it on a canvas
The colors speak and say
What I feel

But words
They aren’t enough

And yet I keep trying to write
To show you who I am
If you would just read and listen
You’d see my soul
You’d see my heart
You’d see my mind

But why don’t you take the time
Why don’t you let me in

I feel like I’ve lost my muse
I know I did

His heart was beautiful
And strong and true
Eyes blue as the sky
Touch deep as the ocean
Kiss sweeter than any sugar on earth
Yet he won’t let me in
My heart is broken

So here I am once again
Writing a damned poem about it
That nobody will ever read
It doesn’t matter

So easily forgotten
That’s me
Always am

So I sit with my paper
And I write

No one listens
No one reads

Just silly words
Just stupid feelings
So much for me

I have no muse
What does it matter
Who cares what I see