More Thoughts On Grief

Something I wrote about grief for a friend. I''m pretty sure I wrote it for myself too...

More Thoughts On Grief

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

2/19/25

I understand how you feel. There is nothing worse than seeing someone we love so deeply die and we can do nothing to stop it. It breaks us in places most people have no clue about. I am not going to lie and tell you it will get better. Because honestly, it takes a long time for the heart ache and everything to quiet to a dull roar. Well, at least it's taken a long time for me.

There are days that I actually think I'm doing pretty good and I manage to scrape out a little happiness. Then, out of nowhere, blam! All the grief and heartache hits me like a tidal wave. On those days, I just have to hang on to my life jacket AKA God and pray my ass off until the stormy seas are calm again.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve the loss of someone we love so deeply. My experience has been and still is that we just have to walk it out. It's a journey with no destination that we must we walk alone. That does not mean that no one is there for us, it just means that it's something we have to do alone within our heart. Nobody can reach that but us. I hope that makes sense.

I've been having a little bit of a rough time myself lately. The anniversary of my dad's death was February 11th. He's been gone 3 years. I held his hand and gazed into his eyes until he took his last breath. Sometimes it feels like he's been gone 3 days and sometimes it feels like 3,000 years. I miss him more than I know how to say. I lost my stepmom on January 20th and my beloved cat right behind that.

People tell me that I am too defensive and abrasive right now. I want to scream, "Try walking my shoes for a day you jerk!" But I don't. I just swallow the sorrow and keep moving. I'm not saying I don't have good days. I do. But on the days that sorrow is right there in my throat, I just have to feel my way through it and hang on to the Lord.

Sorry I went on and on, I just totally get where you're at. I can guarantee you this, we have two days in our life that we have no control over and no one else does either. That is the day we are born and the day we die. Only God has control of that. So, even though I know the guilt will nip it your heels for a while, it was not your fault and you did everything you could. The love you shared with Randy is not gone. It's still there alive and well. The hard part is being apart. But I promise you Randy would tell you to stop beating yourself up because he knew you loved him and you did all you could.

My heart and prayers are with you! Message me if you need to talk I'm here. 😢💜🙏🏼