Graphite on paper, 2002
By Andrea Tadpole
This is a symmetrical drawing I did in college back in 2002. The assignment was that it be symmetrical and contain symbols that represent my life. I am a member of AA and have been sober since 7/5/1986. That is my rebirth day, the day I started my journey in spirituality. Doing this drawing in and of itself was a spiritual journey for me. The act of creating anything always is very sacred to me because I feel like I am sitting at God's throne when I am doing it. It feels like God, Source or whatever I call my Higher Power on any day, is creating through me. It is as if it falls out of my spirit. It is a very Holy experience for me.
Here is what the things symbolize in this drawing for me:
1. The nails and crosses represent my Higher Power and the total unconditional love He had and still has for me. It is the sacrifice that was made for me. My understanding of God is that He (I use "he" for lack of a better term) loved me just as much when I was face down in my puke drunk as He does all these years sober today. He loves me, because of who He is. It has nothing to do with how good I am.
2. The stairs throughout the drawing represent the 12 steps of AA that I work continuously. They are spiritual principles that I live by the best I can every day.
3. The symbol of AA is a circle with a triangle in the middle. Hence the spheres and pyramids.
4. The spheres remind of God's love...it is a circle with no beginning and no end...God's love is never-ending They also represent completion for me. I never completed anything until I got sober.
5. Pyramids are sources of power. When I remember to be still and tap into their power I find peace and hope.
6. The 2 giant stone structures are the altars that remind me of the two times in my life that I have spiritually laid myself on God's altar and surrendered myself unconditionally. They are what I call my Demascus Road experiences or spiritual awakenings. The altars are also like my God Box in my heart where I turn over the things and worries that I cannot control. For me, letting go of something is a process. I let it go and take it back over and over until I eventually just leave it on the altar for my Higher Power to deal with. It is always amazing to me how fast things work out when I finally let go.
7. The four broken jars represent the verse in the Bible that I like. I do not know it verbatim but my paraphrased version is, "God takes broken vessels and turns them into beautiful jars of clay." I am still a work in progress, but I am not nearly as broken as I was day one sober. For that I am truly grateful.
8. The dark background is the past that I left behind. I have never looked back and never will.
I am so truly grateful for the life that my Higher Power gave me and continues to bless me with today.
