Reflection

My word 1-word intention for the week is REFLECTION.  Wednesday I celebrate my 37th year sober and I have always taken the week of my "rebirth" day to reflect upon where I was on July 4, 1986 and my journey since then. In honor of God's grace and mercy in my life and my indescribable gratitude to my Creator for my sobriety I offer this writing that I did a few years ago. It still rings true today.

Mile Markers

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

1/5/2020

I am a recovering alcoholic. I have been sober since 7/5/1986. I have stayed sober through God's grace and mercy and with the help of a 12 step program. Along my journey, God has blessed me with different women who have been my spiritual teachers. I call these women my sponsors. Believe me, I would not be here without them. They have given freely of themselves and taught me how to use many spiritual tools in my sober life.

I was headed home yesterday from grocery shopping and I started thinking about stuff going on in my life. Most of it I cannot control and I was worrying about it. I started talking out loud to God about it while driving down the road. Then out of nowhere I heard Him say, "Where are your mile markers Andrea?" See, my sponsor told me many years ago to make sure and erect mile markers in my life. These mile markers are things that I can look back on that I could see the hand of God working in my life. They will help me have faith when life is hard. They will remind me that God has never left me and never will.

So, I started thinking about my mile markers. I remembered a time when I was 23 or 24 years old. I was in the first 6 to 9 months of my sobriety. My children were 2 and 4 years old. I was a single mom, attending college and very active in 12 step meetings. I had a work study job at the school but money was tight. 

This one particular night it was a few days before payday. I had a couple of dollars left. I stood there putting my last few dollars in my gas tank and thinking I could go to my 12 step meeting and make coffee as I had committed to do and I would not have enough gas to get to class the next day. Or, I could skip the meeting, go home and make it to class the next day. I stood there debating in my mind what to do. Then I thought if I do not have my sobriety I will lose my children and school will be a faded memory so I better go to my meeting. I said a prayer and asked God to take care of me. No one knew of that prayer but me and God.

I showed up early to my meeting and was making coffee. One of the old timers came in. His name was Harold Inman. He had been sober longer than I had been alive and he was like a grandfather to me. He always encouraged me. I remember him telling of being in prison and having to put cardboard in his shoes because he had holes in them and would rather blow his money on booze than buy new shoes. Yet, here he was a fine and intelligent man. He worked for attorneys and judges and was esteemed by them all. I had the greatest respect and admiration for him.

After Harold and I got the meeting set up people started coming in. We were busy greeting them. Right before the meeting started Harold called me down the hall away from everyone. He hugged me and slipped $60 in my hand. I started crying because I had not told anyone about my earlier prayer at the gas pump. I told him I could not take the money because I could not pay it back. He said, "Andrea, God told me to do this. I never said you had to pay it back. Just pay it forward some day." I thanked him and promised him I would. I was able to fill my gas tank, get food for my kids for a few days and make it through till my next payday.

I will never forget that milemarker. For me, it was a holy, sacred moment when I saw God in a man. Harold and I remained friends until he went to be with the Lord. I paid it forward many times, still do in different ways. Harold taught me that.

Life gets crazy and scary at times. Everyone says, "It will all work out and I am praying for you." Once in awhile, God speaks to someone who is listening and brings an angel to take care of us. I am so grateful for those angels today. I am blessed with many mile markers. So, tonight I am going to remember them and rest in His blessed assurance that everything will be alright. He has never left me and never will.

P.S. I am very grateful for Michael Ian Cedar and everyone in Gratitude Slam. What an awesome mile marker this is!! 💜💜💜