More Random Thoughts About Death from Yours Truly

More Random Thoughts About Death from Yours Truly

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

August 14, 2022

It was 6 months since my Dad went home to be with the Lord on August 11th. Some days it seems like 6 minutes and others it seems like 6 years. It is weird how time goes so slow and yet so fast all at the same time. God's timing always frustrates and amazes me at once. I can see His hand at work, yet I do not understand His ways most days. 

I spent up until my 30s, so the majority of my life, hating my Dad and fighting over stupid shit with him instead of taking an active interest in him and enjoying the good in him. When I realized that, I started reaching out to him everyday and I went to spend time with him as much as I could. Over time, my relationship with him healed. Every day until he could not do it anymore he would text and tell me I was his beautiful daughter, that he loved me and was proud of me. It only took a few seconds to do that but it made me feel like I was important to him. I still have those texts today.

When my Dad died I was right there with him. He held my hand and never let go. Our eyes were locked in a gaze with eachother until his last breath and last heartbeat. All I could think was why I never knew what a beautiful almost sky blue color my Daddy's eyes were. They were gorgeous. I do not know why I never took the time to just look in his eyes. How sad it was that it took me till he died to really look in his eyes.

So far, I have learned a few things from my Dad's death. Life is too short to build walls between you and the ones you supposedly love. Life is fleeting and soon lost and should not be wasted on one's who take no active interest in you and your relationship and vice versa. Most of all, it is important to take the time to really look in eachother's eyes because there will come a day that it is too late and you will not be able to.

I am sure I will learn more as time goes by. Someday the hurt will not be so bad. But right now, there are days it hurts to breathe because I miss him so deeply. I am doing the best I can and it is a Holy friggin' miracle I have not drank or drugged over it all. God's grace has kept me sober in spite of it. Oh what a precious gift God's grace is!!

I love you Daddy. I miss you. You are still alive in my heart and mind. Until we meet again...XOXO!!!

Andi ❤️