Roses and Crows

Roses and Crows

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

July 15, 2022

I have had this in my heart for awhile now. I have been trying to make sense of it. Yet, my thoughts are all jumbled and scrambled. I know myself well enough to understand that if I do not write, I will never unscramble or understand what my heart is trying to tell me. So, I am just going to write it. Maybe I will change it later and maybe I will not.

Since my Dad died I have done nothing but work from home all day during the week and take care of everyone else in my free time. Do not get me wrong. I am not complaining about helping at all. I just realize I have not given much time to myself. When I do, I end up in a pile of tears missing my Daddy so bad. I know, it is all a part of grieving but I still do not like it.

I talk to my Dad alot because I know he is around me, I just do not see him. Ever since he died I have been asking him to send me signs. I pay attention too. The Cherokee part of me is always watching.

I do not get out very often. When I do it is a quick trip in and out of a store. I just happen go to this one store that is in the same shopping center as my Dad's favorite tool store. Every time I go to this store, when I get out of the car this black bird is right there dancing. The first time it happened I thought it's dance looked like a Cherokee dancing. Then I started laughing and I thought maybe my Dad was trying to say hello to me. Like I said every time I go there this same black bird is there dancing. I did some research and I am pretty sure it's a crow.

I am forever researching the symbolism of things so I looked up the crow. The first site I landed on said this:

"Many people see crows as negative. However, that is not true. Crows appear to alert you to the presence of spiritual shifts taking place around you. They are there to remind you to pay close attention to the spiritual signs that are being conveyed to guide you in the right direction. They are symbols of change, phases, telepathic powers, and the ability to see into the realms of the unseen."

I do not know about anyone else but that blew my mind! I know there are transitions or changes on my horizon. I can feel them in my spirit even though I do not know what they are yet. I was introduced to the Holy Spirit when I was 10 years old and I have always known when some things are going to happen around me whether I told anyone or not. I identify with having the traits of an empath. I am not a holy roller or spiritual guru at all. I just know there is a Father, Son and Holy Ghost and that is my Higher Power. It is not about religion for me at all.

So, I believe the crow is my Dad trying to tell me that no matter what happens, good or bad, he is going to be there. I need to just keep moving forward and keep dancing with him. Also, the dancing reminds me that when I enter His courts and praise Him; my Dad, grandchildren, grandparents, ancestors and angels are there with me.

That may all sound crazy some people but not to me. I had a vision years ago of dancing at God's throne with my granddaughter Zoey. I also died one time and came back. I was there at His throne and it was the most awesome experience. The mercy and grace that I felt; the feeling of all the weight of this world being off me...it was absolutely beautifully amazing. Then, God told me to go back and I wanted to stay so bad, because there I was finally home. Yet, I knew I had to go back to raise my children, there was still other things to learn and others to help. The first few months back I felt so heavy. I still do sometimes today. Anyway, I got off track. I guess there was a reason for it.

God blessed us with our own home last November, the day before my Dad got sick and the 3 month nightmare began that culminated in his death. He never got to see my home. It has bothered me alot. I had prayed for my own home, some place that felt peaceful and one that I could fix up. I wanted it to be a place of ease and comfort to anyone who entered. It did not have be huge, just good bones. I looked every evening for 3 months for this house. God blessed me with a patient realtor. When I walked in the first time, I just knew in my heart of hearts that this was home.

Since we have been here I have slowly realized some things about this place. Everyone who walks in the house for the first time says the same thing, "This place just feels like home." I did not realize it at the time we bought it but it is right across the street from an elementary school that I went to. We lived up the street. It was the happiest time of my childhood, before puberty hit and the fighting with my Dad started. When I grew up we worked out our issues but I know I was hell as a teenager.

Our home is on a corner with a half acre lot. The front porch faces the school. We always plant flowers. The previous owner had a flower bed in the front and what looked like ugly wheat grass with rose bushes planted in between. We got rid of the ugly wheat grass and left the rose bushes. We planted flowers in April, earlier than usual. I did not pay much attention to the rose bushes.

Around Father's Day in June, suddenly the roses started blooming. They were absolutely beautiful. There were so many they weighed the bushes down. They bloomed like crazy all of June. My Dad's birthday was June 27th. They started wilting after his birthday. I figured they would not bloom anymore this year.

I was curious about roses and started researching them. The first thing I stumbled on is that roses are the birth flower for June. I thought that was pretty cool since it is my Dad's birth month. It was his way of saying, "Hello! I'm still here!!"

I also found this explanation that rings true in my heart:

"Since ancient times, roses have symbolized God at work in whatever situation they appear. The intricate and elegant rose offers a glimpse of a masterful creator's active presence in creation. As this fragrant flower blooms, its buds gradually open to reveal blossoms with lovely layers—an illustration of how spiritual wisdom unfolds in people's lives. The strong, sweet scent of a rose brings to mind the powerful sweetness of love, which is the essence of God. So it's not surprising that many miracles and encounters with angels throughout history have involved roses."

After reading that I thought well that is nice but there will not be anymore roses this year. Boy, was I wrong! I walked outside the other day and the roses are blooming again! Just a couple of days before I was asking my Dad for another sign. He sure gave it to me!!

If I had been asked to tell you what signs my Dad would use to tell me that he is still around me I would have never said roses and crows. Roses are beautiful but they have thorns. Crows often get a bad wrap. To many people they are a nuisance much like pigeons. So, if I were to look at these 2 things with my earthly eyes I would miss out on the messages God and my Dad are trying to send me.

When I look through my spiritual eyes, I can see that God is trying to tell me that no matter how "thorny" life gets and no matter how negative people treat me like they do crows...He is still there even when it does not feel like it. 

I believe my Dad is trying to tell me, just like the crows, keep dancing even when my heart aches. He also wants me to stop and pay attention to the beauty around me like the roses. Sometimes I need to be still to see the angels in my midst. This is all a reminder to me that even though I cannot see my Dad, he is ever present around me just like God is.

So, at least for today I am going to stop and smell the roses and keep dancing with the crows.

I love you Daddy ❤️