My Random Thoughts on Autism and Sophia

My Random Thoughts on Autism and Sophia

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

February 6, 2026

A discussion arose on a post that I made that included a piece of artwork someone did about autism. I do not want to single this person out because I have known them for years and I know that they did not mean anything vicious by their comment. They were just giving me some information. 

However, this is a hot button issue for me right now because I am dealing with people who want to force me to identify my disability in a way that I do not agree with. So, I decided to put this on my main page instead of down in a comment. 

I have recently done extensive research on the logos used for autism and other neurodivergent issues. That is because my great-granddaughter Sophia was recently diagnosed with autism and I have other personal reasons for doing so. 

So far, what I have learned is that there are people that prefer the infiniti sign be used to identify autism. Most of the logos I have seen that use the infinity sign for autism incorporate the rainbow with it. I love that because I love rainbows. 

Yet, there are others that complain that seeing the rainbow with the infiniti sign infers something else and they refuse to use it. Still others get offended that the autism community is using the rainbow and that it is their Holy Grail symbol and should not be hijacked by another community. You all are smart enough to figure out what I am talking about. 

Here is what I think. WHO CARES?! Everyone should be able to use the rainbow for whatever they want because it is a reminder of God's promise. But that is just my opinion. 

In my research, I have also found that lot of people still use the puzzle piece to signify autism. Okay, so if you do not like the puzzle piece use the infinity sign or whatever else you want to use! It should be up to that person to use the one they want to use. 

I am so tired of people getting offended by every little thing. To me this picture I have added with this post is a piece of art from someone's heart. So, if they use the puzzle piece who cares?! It was from their heart and that is what counts!

This is a totally different subject, but is still somewhat connected. Recently, I have found myself embroiled in an argument in another group about identifying myself as "hearing impaired" vs "hard of hearing". It is absolutely stupid that people try to force me to identify as "hard of hearing" when that is not what I am. I am HEARING IMPAIRED. I guess the current trend is to say that you are "hard of hearing" which makes no sense to me. Also, I do not follow trends!!

I have identified as HEARING IMPAIRED since I lost part of my hearing at 23 years old. I am not going to stop calling myself that now even if it makes somebody mad. That is what I identify as. It is nobody's business but mine!! I feel the same way about autism or any other disability. It is up to the individual to choose how they identify themselves. That is why we have the First Amendment in the Constitution! The right to freedom of speech. I have never allowed anybody to put a label on me, why would I start now?

So, my point is, I do not care how someone identifies their disability. Let them do what they want!! It is up to them. 

When my little great-granddaughter is older and decides what symbol she wants to use to identify herself, I do not care if it is totally something made up by her, I will use it. Until then, I personally, will use both the infinity sign and the puzzle piece, because they make sense to me right now. If people want to get mad at me for that they can scroll on and not look.

This world has turned so vicious. Instead of embracing each other's differences and learning from each other; people would rather tear someone down because they do not fit in the round hole they want to try to cram them in. I for one have marched to the beat of my own drum my whole life and always will. I believe everyone should be allowed to do that. 

People need to be more accepting, kind and understanding. We need more peace and less hatefulness. I am a hopeless optimist. I keep believing that someday people will pull their heads out of their rear ends and stop the hatred. If we cannot find peace and love in this world we are doomed.

I hope and pray that my little great-granddaughter will be able to choose how she wants to identify herself someday without a massive backlash of negativity and hatefulness that I have experienced. I hope she finds more unconditional love and acceptance of who she is as a beautiful human being, regardless of whatever she can or cannot do.

I know that this post is long and if you have read this far I truly am grateful. I have one more topic to address and then I will be through.

l love all my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren more than anybody could ever understand. However, I know that Sophia is a very precious gift to our family. Until she came along we had never experienced having a person in our family with the kind of issues Sophia has. I for one refuse to call them disabilities. For now I call them issues until I find a better word. 

When we started down this road and realized Sophia was a little different than the "normal" baby, I remember praying one evening about it. At that moment, it was as if I heard God say out loud, "Sophia is a precious gift and she is here to teach you and your family about finding beauty in the most unusual places." Sophia has opened up a part of my heart that I never knew existed. 

Most people look at children with special needs with their fleshy eyes and are polite but they do not really want anything to do with them. They rush by wherever we are at to avoid her. It is sad because they are missing out on someone so precious. 

I have always been blessed with spiritual eyes that are more dominant than my fleshy ones. If you do not get what I mean by spiritual vs fleshy I am sorry but that is the only way I know how to say it. The best explanation I have is to look with your heart instead of your mind. 

Anyways, after that prayer, I intentionally started interacting and looking at Sophia with my spiritual eyes. She is so gorgeous and her light is phenomenal. She does not know how to talk yet, they label her nonverbal. I for one believe she will talk someday. But, mark my word, if you are around her long enough you begin to understand her language. It is a very beautiful, holy and sacred language that can only be understood with the heart (spiritual eyes). It is a language of immense expression in so many different ways. 

Some people look at those with children with special needs as the unfortunate ones. They look at them with pity. Yet, they do not understand that we are the blessed ones because God has given us a gift that has opened up our hearts more than we could ever imagine. It has definitely changed the way I view my life and this world in many ways.

My apologies for blathering on and on but this experience has changed me, definitely for the good. I am truly grateful to God for giving us our beautiful Sophia. She is definitely an angel here on earth and I will be forever blessed to be her great-grandma. I love you more Sophia. 💜🌟

Grief 1/12/26

Grief

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

January 12, 2026 11:42am CST

(Written for my friend Dee Anna Rice)

First, let me preface this with my apologies for my post being so long. Sometimes it takes me a little bit to unravel what's in my heart.

Dee Anna Rice you are not a terrible person! I completely understand how you feel. I also think it is a very normal reaction to some very devastating shit that has happened. At least, that is the way I see it for myself.

I lost numerous friends during COVID. At the end of it when I thought my family was free and clear, my step dad and then my dad passed from it. My mom was in a rehab hospital in Florida when my step dad died. Everything was a nightmare. Just before it all started with my stepdad and my dad, I had brain surgery. I was still recovering from it, but somehow God gave me the strength to go get my mom in Florida and bring her home. All while working a remote job that I could not stand. 

I got my mom home and settled in and got through my dad's burial. I thought everyone was doing okay and I could finally take a deep breath inside and relax a little. Then, I got laid off. 

The day after I lost my job and health insurance, my husband fell and broke his neck. He had to have emergency surgery. The surgeon said he would never walk again. A couple of months after his fall, he had a blood clot in each lung, and almost died. I finally got him home after a rehab stay, but he has not been able to work since and can barely walk. He is still pretty much homebound. I managed to find another remote job that worked me to death but at least I had income. 

Again, I thought I could breathe for a minute. Then January 20th last year my daughter and I found my stepmom passed away at home alone in her bathtub. My stepmom was my best friend. My heart was already broken in a thousand million pieces but after that, whatever was not broken was. 

Since then, I have been slogging through the nightmare that being the executor of her will is. You would think that people in professional settings who know what you are going through would have a little bit more compassion and understanding. Sadly, they do not care. They act like no one died. To top it all off, I got laid off this past Christmas.

Today, my husband has no health insurance and he is still very sick. He got denied disability. Now, I have started the nightmarish process of dealing with Soonercare and the HealthCare Marketplace only to be sent running in circles chasing my tail to try to get him insurance. I did manage to get my unemployment going but it will not even scratch the surface of my bills. All, while trying to finish up this executorship that I wish I would have never taken on. Yet I know I have to see it through to the finish to make my dad proud.

I have been so keyed up and a massive ball of stress inside for so long that I have forgotten how to breathe. I do not know how to relax. When I do, I fall apart. I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. Who wouldn't be!? 

What I have learned through all of this is that I need to give the most compassion and understanding to myself FIRST. I do not owe anyone any understanding or empathy at all until I can take care of me. 

As a result, my circle has gotten incredibly small. Mainly because I am usually the one everybody runs to when they need something. No one checks on me, except for my kids and grandkids. Most people choose avoidance instead of being there with someone through the hard stuff. Believe me, it is not pretty when I am going through it emotionally or mentally at all. I have definitely found out who my friends AREN'T though. It amazes me that people who you would never think would care are the ones that show up on the hard days. 

I will get through this. But, people need to understand that when someone is completely broken and grieving they just need someone to love them where they are at. They do not need a bunch of hollow words or crappy cards or flowers. They just need someone's presence. Their presence is the greatest present they could ever give. Sometimes, the greatest presence is when someone just sits with me. No words of inspiration. Just silent understanding.

I have not shared all this to make you think that my grief is worse than yours or yours is worse than mine. I have shared this so you know that you are not alone on this journey. I am right here with you. I completely understand not wanting to acknowledge another death, not wanting to go to another funeral, not wanting to put flowers on another grave yet again. Sometimes, a person can only take so much and they cannot take anymore or it is going to push them over the edge. When I cannot take anymore I do not do it. I just take care of me. The ones who really love me will understand and need no explanation. The others can go to hell.

The one thing that keeps me from falling over the edge is my faith in God, my Higher Power. He loves me right where I am at, even in the midst of absolutely ugly, horribly devastating grief. I know He loves you just as much. He understands that grief is not a pretty journey. He also carries us through it.

There is a verse in the Bible that I am sure I am going to totally obliterate with my paraphrasing it but it goes something like this, "He makes beautiful jars of clay out of broken vessels". 

There is also a Japanese form of artwork that involves broken things. I do not remember what it is called but I am sure if you look it up you can find it. Basically, instead of trying to glue whatever is broken back together and hide any cracks or lines, the object is put back together with gold in the cracks so that they can be seen. The idea is that the golden cracks turn out to be our greatest assets and make us stronger. In that case I must be a sumo wrestler inside!

For me, what all this means is that there must be a reason why people like us are going through this. I think God puts us back together with our golden cracks showing so that others going through the same thing can find us easily. Then we can walk alongside them on their journey so they are not alone. Kind of like how you and I found eachother.

It also means to me that eventually we are going to heal, but we will not be the same women we were as before. How could we be? Yet, we will be beautiful with all of our gold showing and reflecting in the light of God's Holy Spirit.

Please know that my heart and prayers are always with you. You know where to reach me if you need a shoulder. 

I love you!

Andrea

💖🌟💖