Silence Is a Killer

Silence Is a Killer

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard 

5/8/23

I commented on someone's post about sexual abuse on Faceache today and it ruffled some feathers. I do not really care if it did. Those that are offended can feel free to unfriend and block me. No love lost here. I went ahead and deleted my reply and am posting it here on my own page. Don't like it? Move on.

This topic has nothing to do with current political and legal drama going on. I could care less. But, when comments are made about sexual abuse...I CARE. I lived through it as a teen. So, this is about MY experience and MY thoughts about it. 

Oh, and do not bother telling me to see a counselor. I have already been there and done that for many years. And NO, I will never forgive the one who abused me. He is on God's altar. I have freed myself from it but God can deal with him. I will have my say about things though. Again, if you do not like my thoughts, feel to exit right on out of my life. Any snarky, hateful, political posts will be removed. As my grandma used to say...buckle up buttercup here we go!

[ suppose it is a victim's right to not report sexual abuse/harassment. However, when a victim does not speak up RIGHT WHEN IT HAPPENS, they allow the abuser to go free and victimize others. I was 14 or 15 years old when it happened to me. I SPOKE UP. I did that because I did not want it to happen to anyone else. After I told on the miscreant, many people in my family turned against me until it came out that numerous girls who were older than me had been molested by the same freak years before me! Had they or their parents spoke up, it would have never happened to me. Let that sink in.

Their silence was deadly on many levels. By staying silent they helped the abuser to kill a part of me that I can never get back. To me, they were an accessory to the crime because they chose not to speak up!! Yes, that statement will anger alot of people who refuse to deal with their own guilt. That is on them. They are on God's altar too.

If all the sudden 20 years later someone suddenly decides to report sexual abuse, it just seems too little too late to me. I respect their right to keep silent, but they cannot expect everyone to believe them when they waited so long. Nor, can they expect victims that came after them, when they refused to report their own abuse to have any respect for them. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR SILENCE!! 

Even as a young woman, when I experienced sexual harassment at work, I cared more about my own self respect than my professional career and chose to report it. I also did not want anyone else going through what I did. I am sure there were women before me that did not tell.

My comments have nothing to do with anything connected with a certain misogynistic, narcissistic imbecile and the circus going on with them currently. Frankly, I will not give them the respect of using their name. My thoughts come from a place of personal experience. Sexual abuse did not have to happen to me. If only someone BEFORE me would have SPOKE UP RIGHT WHEN IT HAPPENED to them!! So, I have no empathy for someone who waits decades to finally come forward. Too little, too late. 

Please, if you go through sexual abuse of any kind SPEAK UP RIGHT WHEN IT HAPPENS! If you need someone to support you emotionally through it I am here. Just reach out.