Roses and Blue Jays

Roses and Blue Jays

October 16, 2021

By Andrea Tadpole-Broussard

Grief is a roller coaster we never want to ride. Once we are on it, the ride is long and unpredictable. We just have to hang on and trust God to carry us through. The last few days the ride has taken me down a never ending hill going at what feels like a million miles an hour. I keep thinking it will get easier living without my Dad but on days like today it feels like the sadness will never end.

My dad was coming to me as a crow for awhile. Then, the other day I found a Blue Jay feather. It was weird because it happened randomly as I was walking in a store. It fell from the sky and fluttered to the ground right in front of me. Of course, I picked it up and saved it. I know it was a hello from Heaven, feathers always are.

Today I was getting out of the car at home and a Blue Jay flew past me and sat right in front of me on a rosebush in the middle of the last of the roses for the season. He looked at me for the longest time. I just stood there in the sacred silence and smiled. I finally said, "Hi Dad, I know it's you. I love you and miss you!" He cocked his head at me as if to say, "It's about time you notice me!" Then he flew away.

The Native American side of me is all over this. Call me crazy or overly sensitive, I do not care. I believe deeply in symbolism and nature. I know that God and those who have gone before us speak to us in symbols from nature. It is no coincidence that my father's birth month is June and his birth flower is the rose. I did not realize when I bought this house last year with rosebushes in the front yard how precious they would be to me now.

I did some Googling on roses and Blue Jays. Here is what I found. Since ancient time, roses have been seen as God at work in whatever situation they appear. Roses symbolize miracles and God's amazing love at work in the world. Many people have reported smelling roses when they encounter an angel. Blue Jays are seen as very powerful spirit animals. They symbolize that the universe is telling one that they are on the right path and to keep going. Blue Jays are also messengers from Heaven. They have the power to connect us with our ancestors and transfer the love and compassion we share between us. How cool is that?!

I have had a lot of things on my mind lately. There is one situation I have been praying for a miracle for me. I have been questioning if I am making the right decisions, am I on the right path? Sometimes the grief clouds my vision and I feel like I have to fight to see where I am going in my life. I have caught myself calling my Dad so many times just to hear his voice tell me everything is going to be okay and to keep going. I have felt like he is so far away. Yet, he has been right here with me all along. I just had to slow down and pay attention to the messages in the roses and Blue Jays in front me.

Thanks for getting my attention Daddy! I miss you now more that ever and love you even deeper! ❤️