My Thoughts About My Higher Power

Meetings, helping others, doing your daily work, reading the book so that your not an empty vessel is only the tip of the iceberg in staying sober. I personally had to change my whole friggin life! For me, the most important and most difficult part of my recovery in the beginning was the spiritual part. Yet, God blessed me with a sponsor who demanded I find a Higher Power because she, nor anyone else in the rooms, especially men were not my High Power. She drove into me the reality that if I chose to try and stay sober without a Higher Power I'd be screwed because I would surely drink again and for me, to drink is to die. So, I have studied every religion I could find. I've read a plethora of books on spirituality, meditation, etc. I even at one point practiced white magic. All on my journey to find my Higher Power. The damndest thing happened on my road of recovery, I had a powerful spiritual awakening. My Higher Power came to me and saved my life. This was about 5 years sober. My Higher Power turned out to be the One I avoided for so long, the God of my childhood faith. Today my Higher Power has many names. Among my favorites are Adonai, Abba Father, Jehovah Jira, Jehovah Rapha, El Shaddai, Elohim, and of course Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a churchy person. Organized religion left a bad taste in my mouth many times. I frankly stay away from church so I can hold on to my relationship with the Lord. If you need church go for it, just don't judge me for not going. Many a bigot sets in church and will never make it to the pearly gates. I don't ever find myself so arrogant as to force my spiritual beliefs on anyone. What I do is point the way for them to start their own journey. Where one ends up is up to them. The 12 steps are not something we work once and graduate. They are a lifelong endeavor. I worked the steps over and over until the steps worked me. Now they are who I am. I only hope and pray that others find their own way too. Sadly, most do not and they go back out and die. I'm not willing to take that risk today.