7/8/20
When I came to AA if the words "as we understood Him" weren't in How It Works I would have walked out the door and put a bullet in my head. I know that sounds harsh but me and God didn't get along. I had religion crammed down my throat my whole life and I hated God and anything to do with Him.
However, I quickly learned that I could have MY OWN conception of God. My sponsor said if I could have any Higher Power what would his/her attributes be? She had me write them down. I wrote down all loving, all caring and all forgiving. She had me carry this paper around with me wherever I went. Every morning, night and when I was having a hard time I pulled this paper out and started my prayer with God you are all loving, all caring and all forgiving. Then I would pray. At first it felt stupid to do that but after awhile I started to feel in my heart that my own conception of God that I wrote on my paper was real. I actually stayed sober!
Over the years I studied all kinds of religions, read books, tried all kinds of spiritual practices in order to seek God. Today, I have a God who I know loved me just as much when I was face down in my puke drunk as He does now with 34 years sober. God loves me because of who He is, not because of what I have or haven't done. I trust God and love Him today. It all started with that piece of paper in my pocket.
It works if you work it. 💜
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